Some People Have No Clue

Oh I was hot, but I tried to explain in a way that I represented the faith I have in my Savior.

A friend posted a quote on Facebook today by George Mueller that said, “The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.”

That really bothered me. Does faith cure a broken leg, a cut finger, a gun shot wound, the stomach virus, a cold, or any other of a million sicknesses and diseases. Yes, faith can carry you through, but sometimes we, most times we must endure the sickness and the disease, in faith in Jesus Christ that it will work to our good or that we will eventually overcome.

What is faith? The Apostle Paul taught that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”.

With the overwhelming, all encompassing fear you have with an anxiety disorder and major depression, darkness is almost always present. Faith is required to wake up and get out of bed. Faith is required to only take the amount of medication that you are prescribed, when you have all the medicine you need to end your life in your hands. Faith is required to pick up the phone and call for help. Faith is required to speak out and tell our story. Do not tell me I do not have faith.

I could not share and you would not hear my story if I was not yoked with my Savior Jesus Christ. I do not understand why complete healing has not happened, but in His wisdom He does. My Father in Heaven does. It does not always make it easy to bare having that knowledge, sometimes I do get angry and ask why, but moments like this I know that I am given the opportunity to share and testify.

“When you get to the end of all the light you know and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.” –Edward Teller

I have always wanted to help people and had a either the sympathy or empathy required. I am in the darkness of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ as my “solid to stand on”, and as I heal, I know I will also be taught how to fly.

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About Hope

I am forty year old survivor and a five year old victim of sexual abuse. I live with severe depression and anxiety, and in 2013 was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. My journey is to reintegrate my alter and the adult me into a whole person, healthy person, and one that can empathize with others.

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