Setting Boundaries, How Was I To Know?

Something I have yet to master with my new life, that I have never had the urgency nor felt the necessity to do before is setting boundaries.  I do not only mean physical boundaries.  Though that is an obvious given,  I have new physical boundaries set.   I had no clue there would emotional boundaries I need to set.  I think these are going to be the most difficult.

I have always been one who could sit and listen to all problems, past, present, and future that anyone had or thought they would have.  I did that gladly.  I still want to, but I realized today that in doing so, I am easily triggered.  Triggering turns a great day into an anxious, fear, nauseated, trembling day, requiring the need to regroup and begin anew at trying to silence “her” fears and my anxiety as well.  I hate what my life has become.  I was doing so well.  I was doing so well!

I am sitting at the computer working on editing the photos I took today.  Trying really hard to stay in the now.  I think some photos came out really well for day two, but admittedly I am having such a hard time focusing on it.  The pictures seemed to turn out much better than yesterday.

My illusive caterpillar even posed quite nicely out of the darkness.  I was surprised he was still on the same weed, but then again, the spider is creeping closer, so maybe I should not be.  I do not think I would move either.    I was also able to catch a couple of lizard friends sunbathing also.    There are a few shots of flowers in our yard that I will post too.

For now, I am going to go crawl in bed beside my husband and eat chocolate pudding and watch television.  I also need to cut out some things for the lesson I am teaching the children at Church tomorrow.

Hope you will enjoy the pictures.

Cherokee Rose 1 Magnolia 3 Bell Pepper-Getting Close to Ready Simple Beauty magnolia bud 2 Magnolia 1 Lizzard 1 Another Lizzard 2

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About Hope

I am forty year old survivor and a five year old victim of sexual abuse. I live with severe depression and anxiety, and in 2013 was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. My journey is to reintegrate my alter and the adult me into a whole person, healthy person, and one that can empathize with others.

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