Time To Find That Dandelion

Last night I had a restless night. When I slept, I tossed and turned in a fitful sleep. When I awake, my anxiety through the roof. Today, I still keep reminding myself to unclench my jaws. They ache from the grip I had all night, but it requires a conscious effort to not clench them tightly. How I hate anxiety. I am trying to avoid Xanax, because I do not want to get addicted to it. It has been several days since I took one, well three. That is pretty good, I do not think I will make it through the day without one today though. My heart is raising, my palms are sweating. I hate it!!

I spent time working on the layout of the other blog a good bit of the morning trying to relax, but that did not relax me as I had hoped. How unfortunate, I enjoy doing it, but it did not relax me as I really wanted it to. I am going to try walking outside and taking some pictures. Something has to give.

Am I ever going to be normal? I think I am going to go find that dandelion that I photographed the other day and wish upon it. I pray to my hearts content, I suppose a wish or two will not hurt.

I am ready to be off of this emotional roller coaster. I am so ready!

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About Hope

I am forty year old survivor and a five year old victim of sexual abuse. I live with severe depression and anxiety, and in 2013 was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. My journey is to reintegrate my alter and the adult me into a whole person, healthy person, and one that can empathize with others.

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