I Once Loved Roller Coasters

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This morning is some better. I am still very anxious and depressed, but not teetering. I realize how many kind and good people read my blog, and they are going through a lot right now too. “Our community” helps one another when we are down. Kind words of encouragement, the reminder of the beautiful things in life and in me, virtual hugs, and a simple “like” they let me know someone is listening and cares.

I have my amazing family. I know the are weary. It is hard having someone you love with severe emotional problems. I could charter a club, I have been on the other side. Living daily, not knowing what to say or do, fear of triggering them. Fear of the backlash. Not knowing if the will be there in the morning physically or emotionally. Holding your tongue and swallowing your emotions, sacrificing your own mental health while they work on theirs. Crying more than laughing. I hate that I put anyone through this roller coaster.

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About Hope

I am forty year old survivor and a five year old victim of sexual abuse. I live with severe depression and anxiety, and in 2013 was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. My journey is to reintegrate my alter and the adult me into a whole person, healthy person, and one that can empathize with others.

2 thoughts on “I Once Loved Roller Coasters

  1. Hello, I am sorry life has been so rough for you. I’m glad it sounds like you have a community around you to support you.
    I stumbled on your page and just wanted to tell you that there is true healing and joy in Jesus Christ. He is the Lord of Heaven and Earth and He still “numbers the very hairs on your head.” God bless you. If you want to find the wonderful promises He made you check out (then follow the instructions in)
    Romans 3:23–Romans 6:23– Ephesians 2:8-9– John 3:16-17 then Romans 10:9-10.
    Thats where true healing comes in now and the next life. God bless and take care 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for writing Josh. My days have been somewhat brighter lately. I have be called to work on the blog for my Church. http://www.jesupldsward.wordpress.com. In doing so, it keeps my eye single to his glory, and I know that He lives and will make my burdens light as I apply His atonement to these horrible things. He suffered not only for our sins, but also for our pains and sickness. He loves us so much, more than we can imagine. I know that He will bless you for sharing He message to those that are hurting, and those that might not show their hurt. There are so many souls that hide pain behind smiles that need our Savior, Jesus Christ. One day I will bathe His feet with my tears and thank Him for each drop of blood He shed for me, and for taking up His life so that I could live eternally with Him and with my loved ones. I hope you have an amazing Wednesday. ~Hope

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