Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror…Show Me Who I Am

Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror
Finish this sentence: “When I look in the mirror, I . . . “

When I look in the mirror…I see a stranger. I wrote and posted a poem about this not too long ago. A stalker in the mirror.

I would much rather see myself through others eyes. Ironic I know, because, do they not see the person I see in the mirror? Apparently not. To my knowledge no one has shrunk away from me in disgust.

Why do I think I am the Beast rather than Belle? I mean, yes, I am overweight, but there was a time in history that was the preferred stature. Weight aside though. I come from good breeding stock. (Dang, that makes me sound like I should be at the stock yard.) My parents are nice looking, is what I meant to say. My older sister, though two years apart have always been asked if they were beautiful twins, and then my younger brother, he could be GQ. The same blood and genes run through our veins.

My Granny used to tell me I had the perfect nose. Isn’t that funny? The perfect nose. My eyes. usually hazel, but they change colors not so,much with what I am wearing, but with my mood. When I am sad, very sad they are bright green, and when I am really happy they are really blue. I have not seen them blue in a long time. When you can see them, my cheek bones reflect some of the indian that my maternal Grandaddy had in him, too bad I did not inherit the ability to tan. I inherited the freckled fair skin of the german and irish ancestry of my maternal Grandmother. With all of that being said, I look just like my Daddy. There is no denying I am his Baby Girl.

I have his dark thick curly hair and the shape of my eyes similar to his. Our foreheads are the same.

I know I will not get over my self loathing anytime soon. I wish I would, but maybe looking at myself through different eyes. The eyes of a genealogy lover, I can realize I am a walking breathing piece of family history. I am the joining point of two families. I am the names that I look at so eagerly on the family tree. They are in my face, my features, their blood is in my blood, and some of their traits generation after generation have become mine.

Next time I go to a mirror, I think I am going to take a closer look and see who I see.

 

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About Hope

I am forty year old survivor and a five year old victim of sexual abuse. I live with severe depression and anxiety, and in 2013 was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. My journey is to reintegrate my alter and the adult me into a whole person, healthy person, and one that can empathize with others.

9 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror…Show Me Who I Am

  1. It is true that most people consider “sexy looks” above most everything else. But not everyone…and not the guys who would be the most sincere in a relationship. Also, age and maturity has a way of changing some perspectives.

    Take another look in that mirror with a fresh perspective…what’s good about me, not what’s bad. Thanks for your visit.

    Christian

  2. You can work on the outward things, even though that can be difficult. But the inward things are what are most important and many people will see the inward beauty. When I know people, I don’t think much about how they look outside because I see their outer self in the light of their inward selves.

    Best to you,

    janet

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