Mayberry Monday: What The Heck Is A Schlimazel?

Once upon a time in a home not so far away there lived three young siblings, an older sibling, and their parents. Their loving parents bought three hamsters for the younger children. Now the two youngest sisters, the third too old (and smart) for a hamster, sat and discussed names for their new pet rodents. Then it hit them, the perfect names. Being a child in the 80s, two females a one male, no, not Krissy, Susanne, and Jack. We chose Laverne and Shirley. What of the dashing gray male with the pink nose? Carmine fit perfectly. Wrong, the male belonged to our little brother, he decided his name would be Rudolph.

I do not recall ever really enjoying being a hamster mom. When they were bad, spanking their little bootie, they would pee. I finally learned to wrap a tissue around them before I would tap tap tap their bottom. Those rascals would break out of the cage and life would stop until we found them. Often several rooms away, sometimes on the piano hiding in a clock in a clock, other times in the hide-a-way bed. We finally started taking several bread ties and tying the gate closed.

One winter night it was going to be really cold, I was a young child, didn’t really think this next heroic measure through. I took my beloved Mickey Mouse sleeping bag, and wrapped it around their cage to make sure they would be nice and toasty. I loved my Mickey sleeping bag, so did those dang hamsters, so much in fact they used their little hands to pull it into their cage and shred it into fluff. Dang rodents, you can leave now.

Then it happened, the miracle of life. Little tiny bald hamster babies. Sort of gross looking, but awww, they are babies wiggling around. I learned about cannibalism, Shirley ate her own babies. Can we say ewww?

Not too much later, Laverne had a litter, surely she would not be as gross as Shirley. She was my hamster after all. Each morning I would run in and check on the babies. Still there! Whew whoo! Until….that fateful morning, when I ran in and hovered over Laverne’s lifeless body, in some sort of hamster zombie apocalypse, Rudolph and Shirley were devouring her and her babies. Talk about a disturbing scene to behold. I ran crying, “Rudolph and Shirley ate Laverne!!”

I suppose we know who the Schlimazel was, and I guarantee it was not the two cannibals standing over the mangled body of dear Laverne, those two monsters definitely pulled the Schlemiel cards in this sad story.

It was not long after the massacre of Laverne and her babies that Rudolph and Shirley found a new home with our step-cousins, and think they ended up letting them out in the wild. How awful, because they lived in a trailer park with many cats and dogs. Who knows maybe they made it to the storm drain, and Sensei Splinter reformed them, and they now actively fight crime as members of the underground ninja team.

Naming our hamsters after Laverne and Shirley, tells you that we enjoyed the show. I love the theme song. I remember singing it with my BFFs as a teenager. Good memories.

This clip had me laughing.

I do not remember this, but I love it!

Trivia Time

1. I gave you hints as to what Schlemiel and Schlimazel mean, now your turn, what do they mean?
2. Who’s middle name is Wilhemina? How did we learn this?
3. What is the name of Shirley’s stuffed black cat?
4. What other tv show’s set was reused as the Laverne and Shirley set?

First correct answers for each question will be acknowledged with announcement of your blog in a special post with the answers on Friday. 🙂

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About Hope

I am forty year old survivor and a five year old victim of sexual abuse. I live with severe depression and anxiety, and in 2013 was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. My journey is to reintegrate my alter and the adult me into a whole person, healthy person, and one that can empathize with others.

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