Where’s My Snow?

I apologize for my absence the last couple of days.  We have had issues with our WIFI…again. 

Let’s catch up.  I went to see my therapist on Monday.  It was a good visit.  We talked quite a bit of about my past, and my personality of the past.  I told a few of my many adventures in life, when I was living.  Some memories made me laugh, others sigh and cry.  We discussed in depth what integration means.  

Since Little Shanna is learning to trust me our relationship, I have had a really hard time thinking about losing her.  Oddly it is like a child to me, and to an infertile woman, it is comforting.  It scares me to thinking of “killing her off”.  I never realized integration does not necessarily me getting rid of that alter.  She will become such a part of me that she’ll allow me to speak and act for both of us.  She will not be gone.

We also talked about the other personality that I feel.  I explained that she feels to be a teenager, but since I have not talked to her I do not know.  She seems very angry at the world.  I think Little Shanna is a stronger personality, and puts her in her place.  Kind of like a little child shall lead them.  

So that was therapy day. 

Yesterday I spent the day trying to get things ready for our winter storm.  I think they call it Leon.  I made a Taco Soup and browned some other meat for soft tacos. Oh yeah, we can’t forget the Apple Pie.   I tried to think of things that would be okay cold.  

Right now my tub as two 13 gallon trash cans full of water.  One for my babies, the other for flushing the toilet.  I made sure everything was good and charged up last night, because of the predicted power outages.

So far though, here in my little town.  Nothing.  I think maybe four or five pieces of frozen rain hit the window, but the second I noticed it stopped.  I was up about every hour and a half looking at the weather, and this childlike giddiness, I cannot blame the 5 year-old living inside my brain.  It is all me, but I am pretty sure she would enjoy the snow too.

The hubs was given 1/2 day yesterday all day today off.  My typing and searching the internet kept him awake this morning so here I sit.  Enos and I my eyes very heavy and my mind wandering.  I am so sleepy and took my pain meds for my head, that each time I open my eyes, the world spins and jumbles.  So most of this blog was written wit my eyes closed.  Now if that ain’t talent. (It is just when I doze and start dreaming that we have a problem.)

Image

Advertisements

About Hope

I am forty year old survivor and a five year old victim of sexual abuse. I live with severe depression and anxiety, and in 2013 was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. My journey is to reintegrate my alter and the adult me into a whole person, healthy person, and one that can empathize with others.

2 thoughts on “Where’s My Snow?

  1. At least you are prepared for when/if the storm comes. I hope that if it does come, the storm isn’t too powerful and your power stays on! Take care. Hayley

    1. That we do. 🙂 Looks like it has passed. We still have power…I need to think possitive, but I am really bummed that it did not snow. Have a great day. ~Hope

I would love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a reply.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s