Category Archives: Weather

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

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Photo Credit: ak2.polyvoreimg.com

With childlike giddiness, I keep watching the weather reports. Snow is such a special treat here. We have a pretty good chance of it Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. I know like a child on Christmas Eve, I am not going to be able to sleep. I will be keeping a watchful eye out the window to see if I can catch a glimpse of the white fluffy stuff.

Of course, the worry wart in me is not far behind the giddiness. I worry to death about my hubs and other family and friends being on the road. There are many people who do not know how to drive in the snow, red Georgia clay yes, snow, not so much. My hubs has had experience in the snow, but the other prediction is the dreaded frozen rain. I do not look forward to that.

I remember the storm of 1993. That was insane. EVERYTHING was covered in ice. I was dating a soldier at the time, and they had a run down on the island. I hated him going by himself to that so I went with him. OH. MY. GOODNESS.

We had trees falling in front of the car, well a tree, and we were slipping and sliding all over the place. The most terrifying was driving over the Sydney Lanier Bridge.

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Photo Credit: Ameco-USA.com

You have seen the signs “Bridge Ices Before Road”, I can vouch. With the wind and the ice, his little beater of a Ford Escort, was pushed very close to the edge. I had my eyes closed praying, but you could hear and feel the impact on the car. My date said he was very glad I had my eyes closed, and even more glad that I was praying.

I cannot believe our soldiers had to run in it. I waited in the little Escort with near hurricane force winds was making the car shimmy. It was so cold too, so so cold. After the run we went and walked on the beach. Not the smartest thing. Did I mention it was COLD? Cold and that wind, felt like we were being sandblasted with ice and well, beach sand.

When we arrived back at my parents place, we found my home powerless. What a nightmare. My family and I went up to my Granny’s (now my home) because she had power. Sadly we forgot to take our Beta fish, Frog. Frog succumbed to the cold in our powerless home. He was such a good fish.

So here I type, I am putting my request in for Heavenly Father, and Mother Nature respectively, snow only please, and enough that it is pretty and a little fun, so not too much. I want some nice pictures of my furbabies playing in it.

Thanks for reading! ~Hope

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Sasquatch, Two Counties Away, Great!

So as I read the local new bulletins this morning I could not help but chuckle. I am very glad that I am not afraid of big hairy ape-like creatures wandering the woods. Yeah, just a few miles up the road, two counties over, the police received two separate 911 calls reporting Sasquatch sightings. It was extremely windy last night and every time I let my dogs out they barked at the wind and the shadows caused by the movements of the trees. Or….Has Sasquatch made it to Georgia?

Last night my dreams were filled with anxiety and frustration. I attempted going shopping, my husband pushing me around in a wheelchair. There were so many people in the store. I kept trying to find my family, but everything was different. I would see them at the end of aisles, but with so many people between us, Tracy could not navigate me to them. I started panicking. Similar to how Bill Bixby would not want the Hulk to come, I was fighting Little Hope. Yelling for Tracy to get me out of the store. We kept hitting dead ends, since the store been rearranged. I jumped and started to run. This woke me up, finding myself with my arms forward, and my legs bent to run.

I used to love to dream. Seeing and spending time with those that have passed. Having adventures in a world of my creating. Now sleep is fitful. Lately my dreams are dark and scary. Last week it was as if I was sitting in a 5D theatre all night, reliving again and again that awful day. Each of my senses involved in the nightmare. I asked my husband the next morning if I moved much the night before, and he said yes, I kept him and the dogs awake all night. I begged him to please wake me if I ever do that again.

Today, this moment, is okay. I am at my parents. Daddy sits in his chair, dozing, waking to change the channel occasionally. Mother in hers, on her Ipad, holding Lillie and Heidi their Chihuahuas. Being with them brings me some comfort, though my insides still shake. I love my family.

I did not take anything out for supper. My husband is used to that. He gets maybe one or two descent meals a week. Tonight we might have stuffed bake potatoes. Quick and easy.

One day.

I Have Often Wondered If I Am God’s Guinea Pig

I know I am a child of God. He’s not a respecter of persons, do you sense the but? Yeah, one is coming, BUT, I have often wondered if I was His science experiment. I know He is not bored with all that is going on in today’s world, so maybe I signed up for some (or all of these crazy health issues).

Found out yesterday that Arther decided to hop on my back. Jeepers, did not even ask for a ride and now he is my constant companion. Hope my husband does not mind that we have Arter in our bed. Not only Arther, they think he might have brought along two friends. They must be kin because they share a last name, Pinched-Nerve. Their names are Cervical and Lumbar. I’m waiting for MRI and nerve conduction study to see about them. Until then I am on Celebrex, hmmmm, sounds like a party. I am not partying.

Today the strangest thing occurred. While working on the desktop computer on my collage for therapy, I started getting extremely cold. Shivering cold. It is 76 in my house. I usually heat to death, that inner child loves playing with matches. I have a really painful knot on the back of my head, feels to high for my lymph nodes, but I do not know. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I was so sleepy and shivering all of a sudden.

I head back to the bed and snuggled in my warm blanket. I felt achy, so I took my temp. I was shocked when I saw 96.2. I usually run 98.6 – 99.1. I checked it in a few minutes it was 95.9. 95 is hypothermia. I talked to my Mom, and we agreed that I should go out there until Hubby made it home. I did.

It eventually started creeping back up. It was so strange. Maybe I am going to start having cold flashes instead of hot flashes! Living in GA that would be nice. If you are working on that God, I do not mind being your Guinea Pig, but can I sign up my sister and Mother too? You do not go by HIPPA, right?

Tell All Tuesday: I Don’t Want To Cross That…

You have always heard we’ll cross that river when we come too it, well, I really did not want to cross it.

When the husband and I were first married he had to fly back to Oregon to finish up a few weeks of work and the move out of his apartment. I flew out there for a several days to meet his family and help pack up the U-Haul so he could be on his way HOME.

Waiting for me at the PDX with my new husband were the two cutest little girls. I had talked to them many hours on the phone and fell in love with them. They were the daughters of my heart. I was shocked how much Jenni, the oldest, looked like my middle sister. Kathy, immediately took my hand. They were cute and very sweet. My family. There were a couple of my husband’s friends there also.

I was a nerd with my step-daughters right from the start. We went to a Chinese restaurant that evening. I was so nervous still about being around my new family. Exhausted and nervous, not the best combination. Completely stuffed, but plenty of food left over, we asked for a to go box. The waiter brings a box and a bag. This is where I show my hick colors. The box was a Chinese box, I thought the bag went in the box, not visa versa, so I proceed to scrape the food in the bag. The looks the girls gave me, trying to stifle their laughter. When I felt all eyes on me I looked up at my husband and he asked what I was doing, I looked at him confused. I explained that I thought the food went in the bag and the bag in the box. The girls could not hold in their laughter then, that is when I looked up and noticed several of the wait staff looking at me funny too. I finished putting the food in the bag, and dropped int it the box. “See, it will not leak.” I am surely a country mouse, visiting the city.

A few weeks before when we were in Helen on our honeymoon we saw a spruce tree, if I remember it said something about being the largest one in Georgia. It was HUGE, I was shocked. The husband laughed, and said that it was hardly a twig. On my Oregon adventure, I understood what he meant. I imagined Jack and the Bean Stalk as I looked at these trees reaching into the heavens. We dedicated a day to going up to Seaside, and on the way we stopped that the historic World’s Largest Sitka Spruce on the Klootchy Creek. We would spend the day doing the tourist thing, and the evening I would meet the in-laws at our informal reception.

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I was amazed at its size. There were six of us, and we linked our hands and did not even reach halfway around it. It was massive. How massive was it? Well, it stood 216 feet tall, measured 56 feet in circumference and had a crown that spread 93 feet. Yes, MASSIVE!

After we hefted my jaw off of the soggy Oregon ground from beholding such a sight, we when exploring the surrounding forest and walked down to the creek. I thought Georgia red clay was slick, it has nothing on green slimy wet Oregon forest moss. I was filming everything with a video camera that had been my Uncles that died the year before.

The husband in his exploring takes us to a tree that crosses a small brook off of the creek. The girls had on flip-flops, my shoes did not have grips, they might as well been ice skates. I told him I was not comfortable with crossing the green moss-covered log. I knew I would fall, and ruin my Uncle’s camera. As persistent as I was not to, he was persistent that we would. He said to hand him the camera. I still did not want to. He kept begging and then made the sounds of a chicken. Not exactly what you want your new husband to do, and you do not want your step-daughters to think you are holding them back, nor the friends we were with. I finally, against my better judgement and succumbed to peer and spousal pressure. As I stretched to hand him the camera, my left foot slipped on the green goo sliding under the log, the rest of my body fell straight back. I felt a snap and awful pain.

Now I am covered in goo, in pain, embarrassed, mad that he didn’t listen, worried about having to hike back out of the forest. He helped me up and back to the car. We headed up the road towards Seaside. I could feel my foot swelling. Oh it hurt so bad, I tried not to focus on it. I did not want anyone to know how badly I was hurt. Pride. Isn’t that supposed to proceed before the fall, NOT after.

I wanted everyone else to go crawl around in a pig sty too so we would match. I was ashamed to get out anywhere, even to eat, but I did. We stopped to eat at the yummy fast food Mexican restaurant Taco Time. Crispy Chicken Burritos…And stuffed Tator Tots. I’ll trade you Taco Bell for Taco Time.

I was trying hard not to limp at this point, but my foot was insanely painful. Gratefully when we arrived at the beach a couple of things happened. You can drive on the beach there, so not too far to walk, and the water is ice-cold. It helped with the swelling. Every time I jumped the waves I felt my foot pop and grind, but I was bonding with the girls. That was important to me.

Leaving the beach was amusing to put it mildly. I said we could drive on the beach, apparently you are not supposed to do donuts on the beach, especially when you are doing them in sync with your friend in the car behind you like you are dancing. The blue light that comes is not a disco strobe light. The police only pulls the last car over, and luckily we were not the last car, and we were really close to the entrance to the beach. I do not recommend beach dancing in a car, unless you have $758 burning a hole in your pocket.

Out of the water my foot decided it wanted to blow up, a shoe could no longer contain my secret. When he saw my foot for the first time he was shocked and not happy that I had hidden it from him. He wanted to find the nearest ER. I refused to go because we had our reception at his parents. We only had time to get home, take showers, and head over. My step-daughters, particularly the youngest stayed right by my side. It was so endearing.

By the time we arrived at the reception I no longer had an ankle, and displaying colorful shades of purple, red, and blue. Not quite how I expected my first meeting of my in-laws to be. Laying on my Mother-in-laws couch with my foot propped up with a bag of ice on it.

We went straight to the ER after the reception. Yes, it was broken. Once back in Georgia I was supposed to follow-up with an Orthopedic, I didn’t. So every month or so for six years my foot would re-break. I finally had surgery in 2011 to repair it. They removed bone. Even now the tendon hurts from the damage, but oh well, something to live with.

What is the moral of the story? I do not think there is one. P.S. It is quite a sad PS the Spruce Tree, known as Klootchy Creek Giant, succumbed to the December 2007 windstorm. That is why I kept referring to it in the past tense.

Laughing Felt So Great!

Therapy went well today. My husband went with me.  Our special assignment spending the day together enjoying one another’s company, and staying in the now.

Our first stop was Arby’s and then following the doctor’s orders we drove out to the beach. My husband asked if I was sure I wanted to do that as he looked up at the sky. Dark, dark clouds gathered around.

I reminded him that I was not made of sugar.  He said he was made of salt, and might melt. As we drove over the causeway, you could see the rain hammering the island next to the one we were getting on. I used his camera to take a picture.

Rain over Jekyll 7-11

 

When we got to the Village, the wind was blowing and he asked again. “Honey, are you sure?” Pointing at the palm trees whipping in the wind in front of the car.  I was.  He mentioned about us ending up in Kansas.  I mentioned about the possibility of seeing a water spout or something, or ending maybe ending up in eternity. I kind of felt like Bella in Twilight needing a rush to feel alive. The sting of the wind and the possibility of getting caught in a storm made me made me feel that way today.  I had my Edward/Jacob combo with me, so I was fine.

Just when we sat down and pulled out Arby’s meal the rain came. So did my laughter. That wave of rain did not last long. We did not melt.  I continued to laugh.  Everything was sort of funny from then on.

One point I nearly jumped in excitement.  I have lived here most of my life, and for as long as I can remember I have never seen a dolphin off the pier at St. Simons. I saw the fin, did a double take, then told my husband to look, and he saw it too. It was a huge dolphin.  I think Flipper himself came to visit.  It was a tender mercy to me. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it.

As I started taking pictures of the waves the bottoms fell out of the clouds above us. It was not just a few drops. We are talking torrential. IT WAS GREAT! I laughed like a child, I must admit it was at my husband’s expense.  Poor guy, no matter where he stood, he got drenched!!  I think he is still wet and it is several hours later.

Part of me wanted to get out and dance around singing the silly song…

If all the raindrops
Were lemon drops and gumdrops
So what a rain that would be

Standing outside with my mouth open wide
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

If all the raindrops
Were lemon drops and gumdrops
Oh, what a rain that would be.”

I wonder how many people would have joined in.

Then again, since I had just came from therapy, I figured.  I better not.  My husband might call my therapist and try to have me committed.  I did enjoy the rain ALOT while we could.

I wanted to enjoy the storm longer, but others enjoyed it by smoking, and I cannot be around cigarette smoke. Boooo. Migraine trigger. So we headed to the car. Laughing as we went. We are at the beach, people are in swimsuits running as fast as they can to their cars, and here I am fully clothed enjoying strolling along! People are funny.

Speaking of funny.  This is a classic.  We pulled over to take a picture of this sign.  It cracks me up every time I see it.

Funny Sign-Weenie Wagon 7-1

So after a perfect day, rain included, what have I been singing all evening?

 

 

Kind of Quiet and Blahhh

At Church today several people asked if I was ok, or how was I doing. I did not know how to answer. Finally one personally picked up my cues and said, “You are really really quiet today, ARE you okay”? I felt it was okay to say, no, I am not.

I have a wonderful Church family. They are great, and I am at home in my congregation. It is hard though, when they have seen you crying for weeks and weeks, months even. Not all know what is going on. They do not have the words, neither do I really. I go to Church to fill my empty cup. It has been bone dry this week.

A friend who has experienced some of the similiar experiences in her life came to visit today. It was amazing to see her, and have a hug from her. Oh how I miss her.

Right now my husband and I are watching “Food Network Star”. I am struggling trying to not take something for my headache, it is trying to turn into a migraine.

Thunderstorms keep rolling through and each change in the barometric pressure makes my head worse, but I love the thunder. Except when my husband eggs my dogs fear of it on and they use me as a trampoline, making sure I hear it. “Roscoe, what was that?” he asks, then Roscoe, jumps on me as if to say, “You heard that thunder right mom?”

I think the headache is going to win, Maxalt, here I come.

I Was Beginning To Think I Was Going To End Up In Oz

I do know if I should start off by singing Somewhere Over the Rainbowor wait until the next batch of storms pass. I love a good thunderstorm, but when the wind comes with it I get a little nervous. These storms have some pretty hefty gusts in them.

I looked out my front window thinking, I should probably move my eggplant to safer turf. It is might close to the edge of the porch. Just then a gust took it over the edge. After a few really big claps of thunder and lightening, I ran out and rescued the him. It took me less than 5 seconds, but I am drenched to the bone.

My husband eggs the dogs fear on. Each time it rumbles he asks, “What is that”? They nervously pounce on me. My poor stomache is sore from the other night. I am pretty sure their pouncing is not what the doctor ordered less than a year after hernia surgery. Oh, well I am the Mama. their protector.

Therapy went well today. I really like my therapist. She makes sense, and I do not feel like a guinea pig. She gives me things to think about without making me relive my abuse. Next week we are going to work on relaxation.

Relaxation and peace and rainbows…they all bring to mind Connie Talbots version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

And the Thunder Rolls

With summer comes the famous summer thunderstorm. Though not quite summer, we are having quite the treat! I love a good thunderstorm.

When I moved to Utah, I missed my south Georgia storms so much. I talked to my best friend MJ about my love of storms and the comfort they gave me. One morning bright and early MJ called. The first words out of his mouth were, “Did you hear it?”. Still half asleep I had no idea what I was supposed to have heard. Then he went on to tell me that there had been a thunderstorm in the middle of the night, it woken him up, and he hoped that I had heard it. Bummed I had slept through the rare Utah storm.

I am think of storms because we are having an amzing the display right now. I love it. My fur babies on the other hand, hate it. My bed feels like a magic fingers bed that I used to beg my parents to put a quarter in when we went on vacation as children. Each strike the fur babies jump on me, “Mom, did you hear it”? I am sure that if MJ peeks in once in a while from the Spirit World, he probably gets a good laugh.

Some people come in your life and they live an impression, others leave part of themselves. My friendship with MJ is like that. This year will be ten years since he passed away. When he passed he gave me a very special gift, a gift a dear friendship with his Mom. we are much more than friends, we are family. We both know the MJ we know and love is still MJ and when it is our turn to step through the veil, he will be standing there with that perfect MJ smile welcoming us home.

This blog is surely a free flowing thought today. I guess I am pensive.

I think about the last three days. Friday went well.

Yesterday went really well until my fight or flight kicked in with something completely stupid, but it did give my husband and I an opportunity to talk about how things that did not bother me before trigger me now. I realize I need to be in control of my environment as much as I can be. No loud noises or things that move rhythmically without me being in control.

I have a question to pose for those reading. The thing that triggered me last night, like I said it was extremely stupid, but I could not tell my husband to stop. My purse spilled in the floor of the car, and I was picking up change up. He being playful and funny, started pushing the car so it bounced. The rhythm of the car and my not being in control of the movement sent me into a panic, and anger. Anger that he did not realize it bothered me, anger that I was not in control. My hands were shaking, my heart raced, and I could barely pick up my coins. I realize it was stupid, but my body was still acting this way. Which made me even more upset.

Now my question, as we we discussed coming up with a sign to use when I did not feel I could say the words that something is triggering. This is often the case because of trust. I do not trust that my words will be heard or trusted. I do not trust that I can say them nicely enough or that he will hear them the way I mean them and will rather take then offensively. When that happens it then becomes something of dischord, which only makes things worse. It is something we are working on together, another process. (I read this post to him first.) Is there a sign or something you have come up with and helps you to relay to others close to you to please stop they are doing something that is triggering you?

Today, the Sabbath, mostly a good day. A few tears shed, but all in all it was a nice day at Church. One of my cute little children that I work with in Primary (the Children’s Church) kept taking me by the hand everytime he was asked by the other teacher to do something he wanted me right there with him. Warmed my heart. I love children, I really wish I could have had my own. One day I will understand why. My one day is not now, but one day I will.

I suppose with the rumbling tummy’s and since for now the storms have passed, I should go cook supper.

I look forward to hearing about any signs you use to notify others they are triggering you.

It’s Raining It’s Pouring, I Sure Wish I Were Snoring

Insomnia. I hate it.

When I typed hate I realized I use that word alot to describe my emotions and infimities. I think I use that term because I feel like they reflect who I am. I hate insomnia. I hate anxiety. I hate depression. I hate PTSD. I hate migraines. I hate infertility. I hate diabetes. I hate asthma. I hate cancer. I hate sexual abuse.

Ever have those epiphanies that really hurt, but are somehow wow moments too? This is one of those times. Hate. I define myself as the things that I listed. Weaknesses, diseases, and infirmities all things that I hate. So each time I hate them I am vocalizing my hatred of myself more and more because I do not allow a separation between the infirmity and who I really am.

My words do not do the feelings justice unfortunately. Being really tired and having a headache will do that too you.

I think that is why those of us who have been abused sometimes or oftentimes have a hardtime letting it go. In remembering what happened maybe in our subconscious mind we allow it to define who we are. I am bad. I am weak. I am small. I cannot trust or trust my own decisions. I am dirty. I hate myself. I am not worth protecting. I am not worthy of healthy love. All because we have defined ourselves by the abuse.

Anyway, the bands of Tropical Storm Andrea keep passing through our area. So it is raining pretty steadily. Fluctuations in the barametric pressure trigger my migraines, so needless to say I am ready for her to move on through.

Earlier this morning I turned on my Ipad and caught up on this season of the Bachlorette. Yes, one of my guilty pleasures. Funny thing is after watching the first two episodes, I just had to read Reality Steve’s Spoilers and see who she picked. I am a nut that way. I also read up on next week’s episode. It sounds like it is going to be a riot.

My husband will be happy to eat more than cereal for dinner tonight. He has been a great support and sport about it. The last several days I just have not had it in me to cook. He’s been eating cereal and I have eaten pears, mayo, and cheese. My Grandmother used to make them all the time, and recently it has become one of my comfort foods. Anyway, today though not in me, the thawed chicken would not wait. Chicken and dumblings were on the menu, but crockpot BBQ sounded so much easier. I can smell it cooking now. Yummy!

I am going to jump back up to my beginning thought, my husband hates when I do that. I usually, okay for honestly sake, I never, preface it with directions where I am going so it can be confusing. So as I was saying, I actually had two epiphanies while typing all the hate talk. I do hate those parts about me, but something I am learning is how those thing connect me with a wonderful group of people across the globe that I would never have had the opportunity of meeting, learning, growing and healing with if I did not have these things. I never thought my circle of influence would expanded further than my immediate circle of family and friends, but through these thorns in my side has opened a new world to me that I might contribute and hopefully have a possitive influence, even if it is no more than to let someone know they are not alone in there trials and hey, she has been through something similiar.

I really do appreciate those that follow my blog and those that comment. It makes my day to see you there. I also enjoy reading yours and getting to know your stories. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of my world and letting me be apart of yours.