“And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice” (1 Kings 19:11-12.)
I am so grateful that I have been taught to listen for that voice, recognize, and that this weekend I have been given the strength and courage to act on those promptings.
Yesterday my husband and I had a wonderful day together, most of it enjoying the beauties of the surrounding islands. It was absolutely wonderful and relaxing. Nature is providing becoming a refuge for me. I loved sitting on the bench listening to the waves, the birds, the families, while feeling the wind on my face, and trying to capture on my camera the peace I felt.
When the evening storms started to roll in I made my way back to the car a few feet away. Even driving through the storm was peaceful, almost symbolic, thunderheads around, rain coming down, yet bright sun rays shown through. I just knew that I would see “my rainbow”. I even changed my camera lens preparing for the gift that I knew He would send me, as if it was already in the works, claiming it as mine.
He sent me a rainbow, but not in the form of a colorful bow in the sky, but an email from MJ’s Mom. I claimed it as my rainbow.
When we came home, my husband decided that we would go ahead and pack up the two modems that we need to send back to Comcast. We found one, no problem. Packed it up ready to go. The other completely eluded us. We looked everywhere, for hours. My relaxing peaceful day gone. I was now anxious and frustrated, and experiencing the negative feelings about myself that automatically come as a result of my PTSD. I prayed several times as I looked. Finally after my ideas of where it could be were completely exhausted, and I was so triggered into negative thoughts about myself and my traumas I decided I needed to step back and work on my pictures to get into the now, and a peaceful point.
The more I tried the more I wondered where the modem was. Again, I prayed. This time pouring my heart out in gratitude for a great day, and pleading for the return of that peace. I told my Father in Heaven that I had no idea, where the modem is, but I knew that He did. I begged that He led me to where is was. I turned back to work on the pictures again hoping to feel a prompting to where the ellusive modem was hiding.
On our desk sits notebook that I scribble and doodle on. While waiting for the next batch of pictures to download, I scribbled.
“Where’s the modem” (The black out is where I had scribbled my full name.) “I’m so frustrated. Urgh!!”
No sooner had I written those words did I hear that familiar voice. The voice that has guided me so many times before. “I am going to see if you trust me. Go relax in your chair in the livingroom.” when the Spirit speaks directly to you, you need to act. Relaxing. Not so easy, but I had asked, and I wanted to trust.
I went to my chair, but I continued to look. I looked on both end tables, and under them. I heard my name, then the word, “Relax.”
Inhaling deeply and exhaling slowing, I rested my head on the back of my chair. As I did my eyes rested straight across the room on our metal cd rack full of cds, my husband’s cane hanging from it obscuring the view of anything behind it, unless you were sitting in my chair. You could see maybe a half an inch or an inch at the very least. In that gap I saw the hidden, most literally, modem. I had such an overwhelming feeling of “Be Still and Know the I Am God.”
Heavenly Father knows cares about even the smallest of our problems. In the scheme on the world’s struggles, a lost modem ranks pretty low, but as His daughter nothing or no one ranks higher. He loves each of us so much. He blesses us for acting on those promptings we receive.
He knows each of us personally and by name. He stands beside us during our life’s teaching moments as they provide a springboard for other moments.
For me He knew that I needed that experience last night in trusting Him. Acting on voice of the Spirit, to feeling closer to the Spirit than I have in a while, to feel strong enough to recognize then act on the prompting today that will be pivitol in my journey of healing.
My alarm was set for 7:30. It did not go off. Awakened at 8:30, it would have been easy to to say there is no way, since Church starts at 9:00. However, I quickly did my hair and makeup, dressed, and jumped in the car. It was I few minutes before 9:00. My husband had decided to stay home.
As I turned on the highway to head towards Church, I saw him. My childhood friend, the one who many years ago raped me. My initial feeling was the fight or flight, then something else happened. It was a peace that prompted me it was okay, and it was time to pull over and talk to him. Reason told me it was crazy, Little Hope did not like the idea, but peace and the Spirit spoke calming assurance that it was going to be okay. I pulled several feet in front of him lest the closer he came, I change my mind. He walked by my window, I called his name. Reminded him who I was. He said he knew who I was, he made comments about where my Church was when I was little, so he did know exactly who I was. Other memories of our youth, he did not remember, or atleast his mouth could not relay what his mind was thinking. He many years of hard living on drugs as left him very schitzopranic like. As parted ways, he told me to be careful out there. That brought tears to my eyes. I still need to process alot from the meeting, but I feel like it is a possitive step in my healing journey.
Again I am so very grateful that I was able to talk to my friend, parent little Hope as she was afraid and let her know that I can take over and live, and we are going the be okay. Only through the comforting voice of the Spirit was I able to do these things. I am eternally grateful.
Last year my sister and I went to Oahu, Hawaii. The North shore is amazingly beautiful. Waikiki and Honolulu too busy for my relaxation.
For today’s dream I am going back there.
In the small town of Laie there is a bungalow, just 81 steps from our door to the cool clear waters of the Hawaiian shore. I know the exact number of steps because I counted them on my first visit. This is where I want to stay. This is where we will stay. We book our peaceful haven several months in advance to make sure it is ours.
Upon our arrival we are met with the traditional Aloha spirit, and given the key. After dropping our luggage inside the door, I grab my husband’s hand and pull him down the pathway to the beach. I cannot wait to show him our treasure. Our beach.
We have said since we were married that we wanted to run away to a secluded island. Our touch of paradise in Laie is as close to that secluded island dream as I could ever imagine.
The sand here is nothing like the sand in Georgia or the sand on the Oregon coastline, where he is from. Tiny pieces of luffa and lava give you the perfect spa treatment. It almost feels and looks like uncooked grits with pepper flecks. You sink much deeper in this sand, getting a workout as you go. As we walked hand in hand, I enjoyed watching his face about as much as watching the scenery.
In Georgia, the sun sets behind you when you are looking at the water, here, picture perfect romantic night. Watching the sun go down over the Pacific on our own private beach with your spouse embracing you. You are the only two people in the world. You hear the waves crashing, the wind blowing, and feel an occassional mist from the waves spraying as they crash into the rocks.
The next morning we planned our day at the “PCC” or Polynesian Cultural Center, during my first visit we had listened to others and not allowed ourselves a full day there and ended up missing several of the shows and exhibits, we would not make that mistake this time. Another mistake that I had caused last time that I did not this time, we walked across the street to the PCC. Last time I insisted on driving, and we parked about the distance from the bungalow and it cost us $8. Lesson learned.
In the gates PCC you get transported to the different islands of Polynesia. There are exhibits, shows, and crafts performed by each island. My favorite two (though I have to admit I am still going off of my first visit experience here) were Tonga and Samoa. I was now a pro at the Samoan coconut dance. I have the video to prove it, but that is one video that will not be posted.
The Tongan drum show is so funny. I think we both about wet ourselves laughing. (Thank you YouTube for recording so I could put this in my dream.)
Here are a few other pictures from our day at PCC.
We ended the evening with a Luau and the show Ha: The Breath of Life. The Royals were there. 🙂
The food was royally delish! I still cannot get over how much I love poi, raw fish, with onions. I refuse to call it sushi. The mango pineapple smoothie was just perfect. I learned from my first visit we did not need to order two, the smoothie is served in a whole pineapple. This is all before the real food is served. I fell in love with mango my first trip to Hawaii, and now it is my citrus fruit of choice. Hawaiians, like Southerners, know how to put on a spread of food. We ate until we were stuffed.
Ha: The Breath of Life is a beautiful moving story told by each island. It is also an amazing fire show. I understand why no cameras are allowed, but I was still bummed. The show is gorgeous in an outdoor theater with the Hawaiian sky as a back drop.
After a long exciting and hot day, I am very glad that our bungalow is just across the road. My feet are aching, I am exhausted, but it has been a great day. We walk arm in arm across the busy street. Snuggle into our bed, whisper the words, “I love you.”
I cannot wait to see what adventure tomorrow holds.
- Aloha Hawaii Kai (dequelleplaneteestu.com)
- Island getaway: So much to explore on Oahu this summer (sfgate.com)
- Mahalo, Hawaii – > Aloha, Minnesota! (sincerelykiks.wordpress.com)
- Say ‘aloha’ to Hawaii’s best bets (today.com)
- My Favorite Oahu Circle Island Tour (kailualoha.wordpress.com)
- Driving Around Oahu (janetshouse.typepad.com)
We took the car to Sears to get tires. A “quick trip” that was supposed to be 1.5 – 2 hours, left us ended stranded for 4.5 hours the Bulldog in me growled and showing my teeth. We ended up with $40 off and a free oil change. We did meet some really nice people in the waiting area, and the customer service young lady was super nice. She saved the sale for Sears, not only because she gave us a discount, but she really was very nice and caring.
My favorite part of the day by far was going to the beach. The area we go to is so peaceful and serene. The ebs and flows of the waves soothed me. I loved taking pictures of birds, the water, and people. My husband and I talked about making it a standing date night to take a lunch to the beach once a month and sit and relax. We have not taken our chairs the last two times. The next times we will ne sure to do that.
I tell you the truth there is something to be said for running your toes through the slightly warm soft sand of the beach. The area we go to it is not packed down. I just love it. We talked to a local and the last time we came we noticed there was a creek that separated the mainland from an insland. it is only a few feet across. He told us tonight there is a deep drop off and ther are oyster beds there, and they will cut you up really bad if you did not know they were there during high tide and stepped off and were hammered by the waves into the shelf.
We watched this one young man casting his net. His Mom said that earlier he had caught a couple of fish and a few crabs. I wish we would have seen it. He was diligent. He kept casting away. i think it is great he is learning such an awesome skill.
One the way home from a nearly perfect evening at the beach, we hear that familiar, shake rattle and roll coming from the left side of the car. We have our new tires, so we do not know what it is. My husband is going to call the dealership Monday. His Grandpa was a Chevy man, and because of that Jethro has been a faithful Chevy man too. This HHR and the last two Chevy delearships we have dealt with have broke him from that. Now he is build Ford tough. ;). Guess that is the whole marriage conversion, if I remember correctly, my Grandaddy was a Ford man. 🙂
Since I have started taking pictures critters have been one of my favorite subjects, and the closer I can get to them the better. I love macrophotography. Here’s a couple of pictures of a mammoth frog.
Oh my goodness, I almost forgot one of the BEST parts of today. While we were at the mall waiting for our car there was this gentleman singing, his name is Kris Pierce. He has an amazing voice. He sang “To Make You Feel My Love” for Jethro and I, at my request. (Click his name to check out his music.)
Even though we had the Sears craziness, today was a good day. I had my love with me. We laughed and even shed a couple of tears. I call it a very blessed day. Days like this are exactly what my therapist told me to make happen.
Therapy went well today. My husband went with me. Our special assignment spending the day together enjoying one another’s company, and staying in the now.
Our first stop was Arby’s and then following the doctor’s orders we drove out to the beach. My husband asked if I was sure I wanted to do that as he looked up at the sky. Dark, dark clouds gathered around.
I reminded him that I was not made of sugar. He said he was made of salt, and might melt. As we drove over the causeway, you could see the rain hammering the island next to the one we were getting on. I used his camera to take a picture.
When we got to the Village, the wind was blowing and he asked again. “Honey, are you sure?” Pointing at the palm trees whipping in the wind in front of the car. I was. He mentioned about us ending up in Kansas. I mentioned about the possibility of seeing a water spout or something, or ending maybe ending up in eternity. I kind of felt like Bella in Twilight needing a rush to feel alive. The sting of the wind and the possibility of getting caught in a storm made me made me feel that way today. I had my Edward/Jacob combo with me, so I was fine.
Just when we sat down and pulled out Arby’s meal the rain came. So did my laughter. That wave of rain did not last long. We did not melt. I continued to laugh. Everything was sort of funny from then on.
One point I nearly jumped in excitement. I have lived here most of my life, and for as long as I can remember I have never seen a dolphin off the pier at St. Simons. I saw the fin, did a double take, then told my husband to look, and he saw it too. It was a huge dolphin. I think Flipper himself came to visit. It was a tender mercy to me. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it.
As I started taking pictures of the waves the bottoms fell out of the clouds above us. It was not just a few drops. We are talking torrential. IT WAS GREAT! I laughed like a child, I must admit it was at my husband’s expense. Poor guy, no matter where he stood, he got drenched!! I think he is still wet and it is several hours later.
Part of me wanted to get out and dance around singing the silly song…
“If all the raindrops
Were lemon drops and gumdrops
So what a rain that would be
Standing outside with my mouth open wide
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
If all the raindrops
Were lemon drops and gumdrops
Oh, what a rain that would be.”
I wonder how many people would have joined in.
Then again, since I had just came from therapy, I figured. I better not. My husband might call my therapist and try to have me committed. I did enjoy the rain ALOT while we could.
I wanted to enjoy the storm longer, but others enjoyed it by smoking, and I cannot be around cigarette smoke. Boooo. Migraine trigger. So we headed to the car. Laughing as we went. We are at the beach, people are in swimsuits running as fast as they can to their cars, and here I am fully clothed enjoying strolling along! People are funny.
Speaking of funny. This is a classic. We pulled over to take a picture of this sign. It cracks me up every time I see it.
So after a perfect day, rain included, what have I been singing all evening?
Date Night at the beach. Romantic, relaxing, and beautiful.