Tag Archives: Chihuahua

Lillie’s Pain Analogy


I love this girl. Though she is my parents pup, her little heart beats in unison with mine. I suppose there are several reasons. I was the one who found her on Craigslist. My Daddy and I picked her up on a really rotten day for me. When her little toothless piglet looking self was handed to me it was instant love. During her first vet appointment the vet was very concerned for her survival. Between the dishonest breeder pulling her away from her mom too soon, to the genetic issues that she has from inbreeding, TLC was what it would take to make the cutest girl from Lakeland, Georgia thrive.

Thriving she is. She has gain two pounds, weighing in at a whooping 2.6 lbs. Today she went to have her second set of Parvo and Distemper Shots. Poor poor angel girl.

About two hours after the shots she started hurting really bad. Crying out when she was put down. crying if my Daddy held her. Crying when Heidi licked her. I called my Mother to she how her appointment went and I could hear my girl crying. I wanted to cry. Mother was trying to cook lunch, but every move she made Lillie Pie would cry out. I could not stand it. I told Mother I come down and relieve her to so she could cook.

When I walked in Lillie saw me and immediately tried to get to me, crying loudly the whole time. broke my heart into a thousand pieces. She didn’t know why moving hurt. Wrapped in her pink blankie, she finally relaxed in my arms and went to sleep.

So where is the analogy?

PTSD and Depression is like what Lillie experienced today. She went through the traumatic experience, but the pain did not hit, really hit until hours later. Then every time she thought about it, even in her dreams she would scream out in pain. I am sure she is sore, do not get me wrong, but the screams coming from this baby were so horrible. Unbearable agony. She did not know why she was in pain, she did not associate it with the shot anymore. As a matter of fact, at one point I noticed that she shied away from her blanket. I think she thought that her blanket was her tormentor. Often with PTSD we see those that are trying to comfort us as tormentors because we do not understand what we are feeling and experiencing and on what side of reality we stand during the experience. Nor do those that are trying to help use, and in helping us they sometimes bring us pain.Another thing that I thought about, and I recently talked to a dear friend about this as I tried to help them validate their feelings of childhood sexual abuse. You sometimes have very intense emotions that you cannot put your finger on a reason, I have always told my husband that. I am mad, sad, upset, or whatever, but I do not know why. My way of describing this to my friend was amputee victims having fathom feelings itches or pains in the limb that is no longer there. Phantom emotions cause similar experiences. Being detached whether it be time or geographically from the abuse and abuser, yet still experiencing the phantom emotions. You have them without thinking about your abuse, the feelings are just there, and much like the amputee, learning how to deal with phantom emotions is a key to healing and it is a journey. They will never go away completely as we will learn coping skills, we can begin to feel whole again.

Find the Good Friday: Man’s Best Friend and Heroic Teens

Today I have two stories that I want to share:

Love of A Best Friend

I am a dog lover. I admit to being nervous around pit bulls and chow chows, but if the owner has raised them correctly, then I will love on them if the owner stays beside me. I just love dogs. They bring me comfort. When I went to my new psychiatrist this week an office mascot lab-mix roamed freely. She is beautiful, and helped calm me. Though my blood pressure was still high, I was not nearly as nervous.

A dog’s unconditional love can help turn a dark night into day. Many tears gently licked away by my furbabies, laughing until my sides hurt at the silly things they have done, and their enduring patience with a mom with mental health problem makes our bond so strong. They bring so much joy into my life. My family has always had at least one dog.

Years ago we had our “last one”. His name was Chance, as in last chance. Dogs bring joy, but they also bring sorrow when they pass over the rainbow bridge, or someone comes into your yard and steals them. My parents did not want to torture us with another lost pet, so Chance would be the last. Not many years after he came into our family, someone yet again, took another of our Pekingese.

Our home seemed empty without a pet. We had hamsters, canaries, guinea pigs, a cat, and fish. We loved them, but not at all like the dogs. There is something special about dogs. It was not too long before we jumped back on the dog band wagon.

Now that all four children are grown, my parents have two Chihuahuas. My oldest Sister has two Chihuahuas. My next sister a Chihuahua. My Brother a Labrador. A month after I was married we adopted our first Lab-mix, about a year and a half later we rescued our next Lab-mix, two years later we purchased our female Labrador, and a few months after that we purchased our male Labrador. How many is that? Ten dogs, I should say we love dogs!

A couple of years ago I read the tender story about John and Schoep, his dog. John would take Schoep swimming to help Schoep’s arthritis. During the swim, John would let his dear friend rest on his chest in the water. The comfort of being in the arms of his best friend and the gentle rocking of the waves would calm the old fella into a restful slumber. It touched me deeply. The connection and trust between these two friends. John’s tender devotion to Schoep, makes my heart and eyes tear up. The image below by Hannah Stonehouse Hudson / Stonehouse Photography went viral.


Last night on John’s Facebook page he announced that Schoep had crossed the rainbow bridge. Schoep was 20.

Today has a very nice story about this sweet companionship.

My heart goes out to John.

Heroes on 2 Wheels

I am so proud of 15-year-old Temar Boggs and his friend Chris Garcia, who followed Temar’s gutt feeling. A feeling that I know must have been Holy Ghost.

Temar and his friend been hanging out and helping an elderly lady move a couch when they heard that a 5-year-old girl was missing. He and his friends immediately joined the search. Temar following his gut feeling on what direction to go and that “he was going to find her.”

He did indeed find her, as after following the car on his bike for 15 minutes, the abductor let the little girl go.

The following link has an interview with Temar and more details. I am so grateful for his deligence and bringing little Jocelyn home.

Huffington Post Story

Some Days Are Epically Good, Epically Bad!! Today was EPIC!

You know you are having a really bad day when you ask your Mother to leave the room so that you can swear, when you normally do not swear.

The day started of well enough. I went down to my parents place to be there in case I was needed when the Comcast guy came. While I was there someone stole my porch garden. My beautiful bell peppers and my eggplant. They were much more than two plants, they were my therapy. I really hate the evil in this world. I’m tired of getting kicked with I am down and ready to catch a break. If they needed the food, and would have asked I would have gladly shared, but no, they have no respect for personal property or boundaries. This idiot thief apparently is going around stealing plants from people’s yard, not just vegatables. Some they are even digging up. I just want them to know I have gun and I do not know how to use it, but that makes me extra dangerous! Do not make someone who is already dealing with PTSD feel unsafe in her own home! The plants were just a few feet from my door. The thought of someone I do not know coming that close into my personal territory terrifies me. If a negative thought could be thought about anyone, it was thought about the person or persons who stole my plants. I guess I am more angry than I realized because so much anger is bubbling out, and continuing to do so, in the words of Mr. T, “I pity the fool” if I find out who did this!

As if that was not a bad enough day, sending my therapy to the pooper. My Daddy and I were pulling out of our drive way onto the highway, I saw him for the first time. It was worse than I ever imagined. You can never prepare yourself for it. Daddy asked if I wanted to go back home, we were going to pick up a puppy for my Mother, several counties away. I was able to verbalize, “No Daddy, please keep going! Keep going, please”. Then I was gone, fighting “her” for a long time. Cutting the circulation off in my fingers from twisting the straps on purse tightly around them. Trying to feel the pain so that “she” could not take over. I felt her expressions on my face, the pout of her lips. I wanted to call my Mother, but I knew she would want us to come home, but I needed to focus on doing this service for Mother so that I could stay in the now. Daddy keep assuring me that I was okay, that was in the past, reaching and rubbing my arm, calling me “Baby Girl”. I needed that as much as “she” did. Once we were nearly out of our county I sent a text to Mother. I could not call. I was right, she wanted us to come home, and forget the puppy. I said, “No”.

We picked up her baby, who I lovingly call “Piglet”. Not because she is big, quite the contrary, she is a tiny chihuahua. The runt of the litter. I call her Piglet because one of the pictures that I sent Mother she looked like a Piglet because of her coloring and the markings on her nose. Mother put Daddy and I in charge of giving Piglet the once over before buying her. I turned her over, and asked questions several. She received the stamp of approval from both of us, we tried to FaceTime with Mother, but it would not work. Anyway, on the journey back home, Piglet acted hungry and so I was going to let her nibble on my finger. Oh boy. Piglet, who will be 7 weeks tomorrow according to the gentlemen that we purchased her from does not have a tooth in her little Piglet mouth. We wonder if she might be younger than they said she is. Her mom stopped feeding her. Who knows, she is a cute tiny thing, and will have her first vet appointment as soon as Mother can get one. We tried feeding her formula tonight and she would not have any of it. Last I talked to Mother she was going to use a syringe and see if she can get something in her.

Today has been exhausting. I am ready to be asleep safe beside my husband, and pray tomorrow will be better, even though I do have a funeral to go to. Please let it be better!

Dedicated Photography Blog

Tonight I decided in addition to this blog I would do a Photo Therapy blog of sorts, dedicating it to posting my photography. I will still post a picture or two on this blog, but I will not overwhelm it with my photo therapy.

Please come on over and follow me at Healed Through Pictures I would love to have you there too!

Notice I said “healed” thinking positive here, though I know I am not healed and I have a long way to go it is nice to have a positive thought. 🙂

This is just a cute picture taken with my Iphone. Baylee loves sleeping right there inside my shirt. Such a cute girl. Please ignore the wet spot, she had just eaten a treat before she went to sleep. 🙂