Tag Archives: Humor

Free Frustration Kit Enclosed

This morning began with my nerves on edge, I am not really sure why, I was just off. Now I realize it was an omen. I decided after I finished a couple of things around the house that I would wander down to my parents.

Let the adventures begin.

We uninstalled their old tv, installed a new, uninstalled the new, and reinstalled the old. Come to find out Vizio HD TV’s do not work well with DirectTV’s standard receiver, and that is a gross understatement. The picture was awful. I do not blame it so much on the Vizio TV as I do DirectTV and Vizio not playing well together. So it was back to their standard def, that looks high def, and then working on installing the ROKU on the TV in another room.

While working on their tv, the hubs called and said that he just left Comcast and they did not have the correct modem for us. Yeah, the one they said they had, and were noting in the system for us. So I called Comcast and let them know just how unhappy I was. This was the hubs second trip to third trip to a Comcast store. I thought I had someone who knew what she was doing, and she stated our correct Gateway would be Priority shipped on their dime plus credits for the time we have been without. I THOUGHT she had it all together, that is until tonight. I’ll go into that in a moment. I don’t know whether to say bless her heart or mine.

When I walked in from my parents house the hubs was hanging up from talking to Comcast. He had actually picked up another SMC (AKA piece of poop), he was activating it. However when he hung up, nothing was activated. Nothing. So he said something like, “Tag you are it.”

I called Comcast. I talked to a really nice young man. I did however, cover up the phone a few times to laugh. He sounded just like the guy from the original Children of the Corn, the one that says, “He wants you too Malachi.” This guy was super nice though, thankfully. He worked with me for a long time trying to activate it, but nothing. I told him my assumption was that it was never set to factory settings, that they just gave us a pooped out one. He agreed. My reasoning came from not being able to use the factory user name and password to get into the gateway user panel. Okay, geek talk.

Our conversation ended with, “I’m sorry you are going to need more technical help than I have.” Sigh. I really did not want to call back.

Now, since I have dealt with these messed up modems for several weeks now, I know how to do a factory reset. I looked it up on my phone to make sure. Low and behold, after I did that, I could get into the gateway AND we could connect. It still buffers because it is a SMC piece of work.

So I am sitting here relieved when what happens? I get an email from Comcast. Yay, my email works. Wait, what does this say??? It states my bill is going up from $72 to $86 month because of my “new modem”. What the heck? I am naughty word angry now. I have done the work for your technical support and you still have given me a piece of poop and charging me extra for it. I. DON’T. THINK. SO.

My husband said if they want to do that then we need to put K-Y all over that modem and tell them where they can put it. I must say, that is tempting. Even more so when I tried calling them to ask about it and they said they were closed for the day. 24/7 Customer Service my big toe.

Have I mentioned that i do not handle stress well? Wow, I think I need to find a Xanax and try to calm down. I am about ready to try the stress reliever below.

Can I just ask who turned my Friday into a Thursday??
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Heartbreak Sweethearts

Heartbreak Sweethearts.Many many years ago in a small town not too far away lived three best friends. No not Larry, Moe, and Curly, but Tweedle-Dee, Tweedle-Dumb, and Tweedle-Stupid. The three loudest and craziest NKOTB, also known as New Kids on the Block, fans that you could ever hope to find.

We most literally joined ourselves at the hips most weekends. Walking arms linked, crossing leg over leg over leg, singing, “Hey, Hey we’re the Monkeys.” Or bouncing and bebopping around singing NKOTB songs. Wandering stores walking up to strangers asking, “Where’s Bubba? Have you seen Bubba?” Trying to keep a straight face as we talked in the silly voices and gave a description of our missing imaginary “Bubba”.

We shared the off-key dream of becoming the next girl band, of course to tour with our successful and dreamy husbands, Donnie, Danny, and Jordan, or which three we chose that week. Sometimes going a month or two without changing our favorite, then we knew it was true undying love.

Our group name The Heartbreak Sweethearts. We spent hours practicing into microphones AKA hair brushes in my room or the room of one of my “band mates.” We still have the VHS and cassette recordings to prove it. I would say it is blackmail, but I think we all three love the memories and the laughter incited by it, that I could never be blackmail.

It was such a fun time.

Once we even attempted a rap song. Calling ourselves, get this…DaMob.. So the rap went. (I’ll try to type it out how we sang it beat wise.)

Yo we DaMob
We got somethin’
To Say

We gonna
Teach you
How to par~ty
In a brand new way

You think alcohol and drugs
Are the way to go
Well life is much easier
If you
JUST — SAY — NO!!!!

It was so funny, but it was also something we lived by. We had good clean and crazy fun. We were cool like that.

So the Daily Post Challenge is to take you to where I spent my sixteenth birthday? To come along you must wear stone washed jeans, yeah the kind that when you bought them you found the tiny sand and stones in the pockets. Now do not forget to roll-cuff your jeans tightly at the ankles. Also do not forget your white Keds and white socks. Just incase you are confused you can refer to the picture album cover above. This was taken the night of our party. Our faces have been blurred to protect us from the embarrassment of such fashion taboos.

Don’t worry it’s not requisite to wear NKOTB attire. We did and man were we proud. My sister made these shirts for us. I still have mine somewhere. She put our NKOTB nickname on the pocket. Mine was Cheese. (Which happened to be Donnie’s also. I always seemed to make my way back to Donnie. The bad boy.)

The music for the evening. You guessed it. We played so much New Kids, but we did share the night we a couple of other friends, male friends, so other music was mixed in to give some variety.

My Daddy brought and requested a specific song to dance with me, I am so bummed that none of us can remember the name of it. I called and asked my parents. I remember dancing and laughing with Daddy. He thought he was embarrassing me, but I thought it was great. I thought I would never forget the name of the song. I hope one day I will hear and remember it.

I hope that I have it in one of my journals. I do not think I wrote in my journal that night or the day after because I went to stay with Bec. Yeah, that joined at the hip thing. We often teased each other, “Okay, who’s turn is it to have the brain?”

Many memorable and amazing things happened that night or can be linked there. Sharing a dance with my Daddy at my 16th birthday, having both of my parents there, so very special.

Though dreams of singing stardom are long gone, the Heartbreak Sweethearts are still best friends after all these years, even adding a fourth to our group. Man is now married to the fella Bec was dating at our 16th, and they have two amazing and brilliant children. Bec is engaged to one of the guys that we shared our night with, one of our male best friends.

Wonderful things do happen on your sixteenth. Sometimes it might take years to see the fruits, but when it does it is magical.

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh..Hangin’ Tough! Thanks for coming with on my trip down memory lane. ~Hope

Daily Post Prompt: Sixteen

If I Were A Zombie

The last several days I have been compiling MP3s to help redirect my thoughts when I get really bad or start going there. I know that I have requested y’all to send me songs too. That request is still open. I asked my friends and family on Facebook also and received a great outpouring of response. I love being introduced to new artists and finding new gems in music. The music I have loaded so far seriously touches every genre imaginable. I even put some songs on there for Little Shanna.  It was almost fun selecting songs with her.

Some of the music brings back wonderful peaceful memories of old country gospel. Listening to it with my parents in their room on 8 tracks.  I have some monster ballads, rap, 80s and 90s pop, classical and contemporary piano and cello, and some indie.  I love music.

As I added songs I thought about what I was trying to accomplish.  There are times I want to just escape into the music and sing the familiar songs.  Other times I will need to be reminded of my worth and that the struggles are worth every minute, and that this is not my final destination.  Sometimes I need to be reminded of my beauty inside and out.  Then there are the times that I need a good laugh.  Little Shanna wanted children’s songs, so I guess she wants to remind me not to forget her and the child in me.

I have felt stronger today.  Want to associate it with the music and learning how to communicate with Little Shanna, and I have decided to keep calling her by her name.  One reason is because it is so important to her, another is because even though “Little” is the child in the case, “Little Hope” has a negative connotation to it, as in not much hope.  I chose Hope as my blogging name as a positive name to emphasize the HOPE I have that I will reclaim my Narnia, and my life.  Beginning to recognize now if that means integrating or accepting Little Shanna, I will be okay, she is anything but little hope.

Part of my good day, I found part of my voice.  My good friend, my Mother’s best friend has dealt with her computer since 2010. Replacing six motherboards and a video card unacceptable.  I called the company for her today and talked to a very nice gentleman, of which I am most grateful for.  I explained the situation and we conferenced in the store and my friend.  As a result when she arrived at the store and talked to the manager they agreed to make it right and she left with a new computer.  I am so grateful for a kind corporate gentleman well versed in his job, extremely personable, and focused on customer satisfaction. All of which are so hard to find in the corporate world today with people overworked and underpaid.  I am so grateful that it was a pleasant experience because it is usually when I get overly stressed, or as Mother says, “Lose Control” that is when Little Shanna takes control.

Since this post is about music I must share a humorous song that I put on my MP3.  I preface this with my husband loves zombie movies, me not so much.  I did watch Warm Bodies with him because it was a zombie chick flick, but generally, not my thing.  I found this song and sent it to him cause well, I just love him. ūüėČ

Enjoy~ Hope

Oh What A Night!

It was a night.  One of those that you do not know if you want to laugh or cry so you do both out of exhaustion.

Saturday morning I had a headache and an upset stomach.  I did not eat until late last night, and it was a bowl of Cheerios, by this time my husband was feeling somewhat off also.  Then they began.  The trips to the restroom.  Every few minutes, just as I would get settled back in bed, another wave of cramps.

I could not sleep for the stomach cramps.  At about 2:00 I had finally dozed off, when I hear my husband screaming in the bathroom.  I jumped up, and yelled if he was okay.  His answer made my stomach turn all the more.  The toilet had over flowed with him.  I admit, I laughed to myself that it was him and not me, but I also felt bad for him.  It took him a while to clean it up and climb back in bed.

It was not long however that I was up again.  I held my breath as I flushed.  I had the plunger in hand just in case.  The water came up, up, up, and I plunged, plunged, plunged, until it went down, down, down.  Whew, that was close.  I settled back in bed and dozed off for a few minutes.

Then Daisy needed to go outside.  Urgh.

Shortly after I climbed back in bed, she also let me know that it was time for her breakfast.  She wants breakfast at 6:00.  It was 5:45.  I really wanted to sleep, so I let all four dogs out again and fed Daisy and Gage breakfast.

That held her over for two hours. I pretty much gave up on sleep at that point.

New Year, New Look

Decided to change-up the look of my blog. I do not know if I will keep it this way or not. I really like the look of the owl, and I read to see what the owl symbolizes. It is wisdom. I should have known that.

I sang the little ditty as a child. “A wise old owl sat on an oak. The more he heard the less he spoke, the less he spoke the more he heard. Why aren’t we all like that old bird.” We would sing it over and over again in rounds.

Wisdom. What is wisdom? Wisdom is something you can only gain through experience. No one can give it to you as a gift wrapped in a pretty bow. You cannot read it in a book or on a blog, and magically bestow it through osmosis. No, wisdom comes through your own application of knowledge to your experiences. This journey is my journey to a completely new wisdom. I am learning more about myself that I ever knew existed and parts that I did not know I hid. I will learn how to work together with myself to create a powerful them so that we can do as the image of the owl states “Shine On.”

I have been counseled for years to gain knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge has always come very easy to me. Almost too easy. I suppose you could call me a nerd. Wisdom, not so much. I have to learn life’s lessons time and time again, before the wisdom sticks. This time, however long it takes, however many lessons are involved, I will gain the wisdom I need. ¬†Can’t go around it, can’t go over it, can’t go under it, must go through it.
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So for me funny moment happened today, at my husband’s expense. He teases me constantly about my memory, as I addressed a couple of days ago. Today however, he called me on the way home from work and told me that he was at CVS picking up his medications. I was super confused and asked him, “Didn’t you pick those up yesterday?” That’s when he started laughing. He said he started thinking about the coupons he had to use at CVS and said he would go today since he had to pick up his medications anyway. The pharmacist tech looked and looked, and probably thought they had lost another of our prescriptions. (I called and reported them to corporate a few weeks ago for losing prescriptions.) This time it was not them, it was my adorable husband and his perfect memory. Thankful for those moments!

Sasquatch, Two Counties Away, Great!

So as I read the local new bulletins this morning I could not help but chuckle. I am very glad that I am not afraid of big hairy ape-like creatures wandering the woods. Yeah, just a few miles up the road, two counties over, the police received two separate 911 calls reporting Sasquatch sightings. It was extremely windy last night and every time I let my dogs out they barked at the wind and the shadows caused by the movements of the trees. Or….Has Sasquatch made it to Georgia?

Last night my dreams were filled with anxiety and frustration. I attempted going shopping, my husband pushing me around in a wheelchair. There were so many people in the store. I kept trying to find my family, but everything was different. I would see them at the end of aisles, but with so many people between us, Tracy could not navigate me to them. I started panicking. Similar to how Bill Bixby would not want the Hulk to come, I was fighting Little Hope. Yelling for Tracy to get me out of the store. We kept hitting dead ends, since the store been rearranged. I jumped and started to run. This woke me up, finding myself with my arms forward, and my legs bent to run.

I used to love to dream. Seeing and spending time with those that have passed. Having adventures in a world of my creating. Now sleep is fitful. Lately my dreams are dark and scary. Last week it was as if I was sitting in a 5D theatre all night, reliving again and again that awful day. Each of my senses involved in the nightmare. I asked my husband the next morning if I moved much the night before, and he said yes, I kept him and the dogs awake all night. I begged him to please wake me if I ever do that again.

Today, this moment, is okay. I am at my parents. Daddy sits in his chair, dozing, waking to change the channel occasionally. Mother in hers, on her Ipad, holding Lillie and Heidi their Chihuahuas. Being with them brings me some comfort, though my insides still shake. I love my family.

I did not take anything out for supper. My husband is used to that. He gets maybe one or two descent meals a week. Tonight we might have stuffed bake potatoes. Quick and easy.

One day.

On the Road Again

Ah yes, another doctor appointment, another roadtrip. So tell me is it just a Southern thing to do this?

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I love my dogs, and would be terrified to pieces to have them in the back of a pick up like this, but gosh this pup looked like he was having a ball. I love Labradors!

We will see how much of a post I can actually write tonight. I have already taken part of my night meds. The part that makes me really sleepy. Zzzzzzzz

My meds were changed again today to Effexor XR. Supposedly the first line of the defense for PTSD, and also works for depression. I remember being on Effexor years ago, but do not know if it was the XR. He said the the XR does not flush through your system before your next dose so you have a constant level. This is very good. I am crossing my fingers.

I had all these thoughts going through my head to blog about now I just want my CPAP mask and my blanket up to my nose and surrender to the sleep.

Mutts and More Monday: National Dog Day

I cannot believe I failed to mark my calendar, August 26, 2013, there it is National Dog Day.

Being an avid dog lover, I had no idea there was such a day until signing onto Facebook and seeing mingled with all the back to school photos, pictures of dogs. At first I thought it was a message from fur-moms like myself, maybe showing their fur-babies going to obedience school or something, but then I read National Dog Day 2013. I was intrigued.

I know we have days out there for everything, like tomorrow is National Hotdog Day, no, not on my calendar. I just ran across this when researching the history of National Dog Day.

Surprisingly, National Dog Day has been around since 2004. It began as a day to raise awareness of pets in shelters, and organizations like Petfinder. So many dogs, and other animals are senselessly killed every day. Rescue organizations save as many as they can, but cannot save them all. Today is their day, to be remembered, and hopefully find forever families waiting.

I have mentioned before that both my Enos and Roscoe where rescues. Enos was on the way to the pound that day. I am not sure how long before they would have taken Roscoe. My sister adopted her little one off of Petfinder. He is such a sweet loveable little guy.

Many communities have adoption and fostering opportunities for pets. If you are on Facebook you can also check to see if your community has a furbaby group. There are often opportunities to do very temporary foster, helping vet, pet give aways, or adoptions. Either way, if you love pets, you could be saving the life of an innocent and recieving years of unconditional love in return.

Our babies bring us so much joy and I am pretty sure we bring them alittle in return. As I write this Enos is asleep across my lap.

In honor of National Dog Day, I went to YouTube and found some funny and a couple touching dog videos. Enjoy!

Tell All Tuesday: Something Strange and Organic

In June of 2010 we flew to Oregon to visit my husband’s family. While there we visited the wonderful Tilamook Cheese Factory. They really do have the best cheeses, over priced, but wow are they delicious and so is the ice cream. Yum-Yum!

In the factory there is a cute little gift shop. Mother-In-Law wanted me to have a souvenir from the trip so she purchased me a cute journal. Cow Patterned.
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It is absolutely adorable with its cow spots, and a special journal it is. No, not only because my in-laws gave it to me, but because of what it is made of.

Recycled Cow Poo!

When leaving Oregon, we flew out of PDX. As I reached the TSA scan, the agent pulled both my husband and I out of the line. Re-scanned my carry-on not once, not twice, not even three or four times, but five times, after pulling everything out and rummaging through it. Scanning both of us also, then calling a manager over and saying, “I have checked and check and rechecked, some strange organic material is showing up, but nothing is in here.” The manager checked sent it through again and asked us what we thought it might be, I had a lighthouse that I bought from Tilamook. I told them to open it and check it out. Nothing. When they were sufficiently satisfied that we were not terrorists and not hiding anything, they cleared us, threw everything back in my bag, and sent us on our way.

As we were in the air, the pilot had just announced we were over Denver,I busted out laughing. I woke my husband up. “THE COW POO JOURNAL!!! THE COW POO JOURNAL!!! That’s what was strange and organic! THE COW POO JOURNAL!!”