Tag Archives: Memories

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

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Photo Credit: ak2.polyvoreimg.com

With childlike giddiness, I keep watching the weather reports. Snow is such a special treat here. We have a pretty good chance of it Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. I know like a child on Christmas Eve, I am not going to be able to sleep. I will be keeping a watchful eye out the window to see if I can catch a glimpse of the white fluffy stuff.

Of course, the worry wart in me is not far behind the giddiness. I worry to death about my hubs and other family and friends being on the road. There are many people who do not know how to drive in the snow, red Georgia clay yes, snow, not so much. My hubs has had experience in the snow, but the other prediction is the dreaded frozen rain. I do not look forward to that.

I remember the storm of 1993. That was insane. EVERYTHING was covered in ice. I was dating a soldier at the time, and they had a run down on the island. I hated him going by himself to that so I went with him. OH. MY. GOODNESS.

We had trees falling in front of the car, well a tree, and we were slipping and sliding all over the place. The most terrifying was driving over the Sydney Lanier Bridge.

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Photo Credit: Ameco-USA.com

You have seen the signs “Bridge Ices Before Road”, I can vouch. With the wind and the ice, his little beater of a Ford Escort, was pushed very close to the edge. I had my eyes closed praying, but you could hear and feel the impact on the car. My date said he was very glad I had my eyes closed, and even more glad that I was praying.

I cannot believe our soldiers had to run in it. I waited in the little Escort with near hurricane force winds was making the car shimmy. It was so cold too, so so cold. After the run we went and walked on the beach. Not the smartest thing. Did I mention it was COLD? Cold and that wind, felt like we were being sandblasted with ice and well, beach sand.

When we arrived back at my parents place, we found my home powerless. What a nightmare. My family and I went up to my Granny’s (now my home) because she had power. Sadly we forgot to take our Beta fish, Frog. Frog succumbed to the cold in our powerless home. He was such a good fish.

So here I type, I am putting my request in for Heavenly Father, and Mother Nature respectively, snow only please, and enough that it is pretty and a little fun, so not too much. I want some nice pictures of my furbabies playing in it.

Thanks for reading! ~Hope

Mother, Tell Me ‘Bout The Good Ole Days

The Judds song Grandpa. How I love the lyrics.

Grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days
Sometimes it feels like this worlds gone crazy
Grandpa, take me back to yesterday
When the line between right and wrong
Didn’t seem so hazy.

I could not help but think of the lyrics as I Mother drove me around the neighborhoods of her youth. I mentioned to her remembering only one thing about my Grandmommy’s home, the brick wall around the carport. It had perfect squares that reminded me of the squares from the Price Is Right game where you put the dice in with the correct numbers to win the car.  Funny how we associate things. Associating probably helped me remember it.

When we arrived at the end of the street where the house stood, Mother commented that she had not seen it driving by. She then told me the number we were looking for. Before this point I looked for the familiar brick work. We turned the car around, as the numbers on the homes descended, getting closer to the house number we looked for, a childlike eagerness rose.  Almost holding my breath as I recorded with my Iphone. Then we arrived.

Our hearts sank. An empty lot where the home once stood. The home where I ate many hard Christmas candies. You know the kind only grandparents bought back in the day.  It was not really that it tasted that great, but it was a special treat for being at Grandmommy’s–those candies.
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The house where I would see placed carefully on her dresser, the hairnets. Meticulously made with strands of her own hair. My heart was sad. More sad for my Mother than myself, she had many more memories than I in the home. Grandmommy passed away a few weeks before my fifth birthday.

We went by the family burial plot. I do not know that I have been there since I was a child. It’s very humbling to stand at the feet of these amazing people. I have read and researched so much in family history. I love my family. As I stood at Papa’s feet, I thought about his life. His Daddy had mental health problems, and back in his day they did not have the help we do now. He died in an institution.  As sad as that is, it also connects me to him. An empathy that I have not felt before as I thought about him.  Three of my Grandmother’s sisters were buried there with their parents, I only knew one of them.  The others passed away before my birth.

I wore a short-sleeved shirt today not realizing the temperature would drop steadily. When I looked down at my goose bump filled arms, I saw something else that I inherited from this side of my family. Freckles. Those freckles that I cursed as I teen, I learned to accept and see at a link to my irish heritage as an adult. Both Papa and Grandmommy’s family heritage gift to me.

All in all it the day brought smiles with only a few tears. I am so grateful for the smiles. I am grateful for the memories Mother shared, and the new memories we created together. My heart needed it. I felt like me.

My doctors appointments went well also. My doctor added Abilify to my medicines hoping to amp up my other meds enough that I will not have the panic attacks. Keeping my fingers crossed. Since there is not a medication specifically for dissociative disorders you must treat the symptoms and the anxiety and depression, and work on integration.

One of the things that makes me sad when I think about it, is after having such a peaceful, pure, and innocent experience with Little Shanna the other day.  Developing a relationship with her.  I do not want her or me to think of integration as me getting rid of her or killing her. I keep trying to tell myself that it is like me hugging her really really tight, so tight that she becomes a part of me.  I hope she feels that way.
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Daily Prompt: My Four Legged Hero

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Meet Gidget.  I was just a tiny girl, and she a tiny pup when I she became part of our family. Hitting it off immediately, this little gal became my shadow.

Gidget was my best pal. To be such a small dog she was the absolute best a watch dog and protector. Often going nose to nose with large neighborhood bulldogs and shepherds that would come into our yard. She would send them running as she nipped on their heels with them running tails tucked as they left. I am sure they were getting an earful with her barking in the chase.  Once a Doberman jumped over the neighbors fence and came running after us.  Granny told us to run to the climbing tree.  Granny and Gidget stood ground, giving us time to climb the tree.  I do not remember the dog going home or what.  I just know we did not get eaten, neither did Granny or Gidget.

As fierce as she was protecting her us, she was that much more gentle towards us. I was fascinated with her swollen boobies after she had puppies. So one day I rolled her over and squeezed one of her boobies and looked in awe as milk came out. She just laid there. She would let me do anything to her.  Poor girl.

Gidget was so funny. I think she thought she was a human.  She loved our birthday parties. Whatever we did, she found herself in the middle of it. If we were chewing gum, Gidget was chewing gum. She however, loved to pull and stretch the gum with her paws and make a mess. One party favor that she really enjoyed was the parachute men. They were in cylinder tubes. You blow the tubes and the parachute man comes out and floats down. She had a tube in her mouth and tried to throw her head back, mimicking us. She was never able to get her parachute to fly. 🙂 But it was not from lack of trying.

I remember well the dark feeling that fell over my heart the day Gidget went missing. She had a litter of puppies under the house that needed feeding.  She never stayed away from her babies long, so we knew something was bad wrong for her to stay away.

We looked everywhere, and eventually found her at my neighbors. The night before their someone had broken into their home.  Gidget, we suppose, tried to protect our friends home, and was ran over. My heart was broken.

I miss that sweet girl, a hero of my youth.

Daily Prompt: Heroic

You Know What I Felt Most Of All?

Tonight we watched Standoff. Standoff is a series about FBI hostage negotiators. I love shows like this. This episode was about a victim of an adoption fraud who was holding someone hostage. We were not privy to why he was holding the hostage until most of the way through the episode or I would have decided to not watch this episode.

When I realized the reason, I started playing around on my Ipad, trying to drown out the show. I still heard though. The negotiators brought in another victim of the same adoption fraud. As she was talking on the phone to the hostage taker she said she understands what he feels. She went on to ask, “But do you know what I felt the most?”

In unison she and I said stupid.

I started shaking and crying, for so many reasons. It was like the adoption fraud just happened. Dealing with that is the whole reason I started going to therapy last year, when EMDR opened Pandora’s box, I have yet to really get to dealing with it.

My life.

Songs of the Heart Sunday: Each Life That Touches Ours

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“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ― C.S. Lewis

The blessing and nature of friendship is on my mind today. Of course it would be after spending a couple of days with the hubs and his pal, but also last night I received a call that a dear friend of mine is in a diabetic coma. I could hardly rest worrying last night. I went to see her before Church and after Sacrament went to be with her a few more hours.

The lyrics to Each Life That Touches Ours For Good has been on repeat in my head.

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord.
Thou sendest blessings from above
Through words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christ-like friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.
For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness Lord above.

I have been blessed with the best family and friends. Right now I am reflecting on many of those relationships with gratitude for the lessons we have learned together.

Once I consider you a friend, you ARE a friend and occupy a hallowed place is my heart. There are many in my life that others might have evicted from that hallowed location, but I cannot. When I love, I love deeply and completely, almost to a fault. I forgive, and TRY to forget.

My husband often teases my reference to various people as “my friend”, but once you have made a positive personal impact on my life, you are my friend. Through blogging I have made many new friends, and as I continue to blog and read blogs, my circle of friendship and heart real estate will grow.

Ten Years….Gone But Not Forgotten

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown

Ten years ago today my dear friend MJ gave the gift of life by donating blood, and sometime later went hiking in the mountains that he loved to do what he loved, take pictures of nature. He lost his footing and fell, and died instantly.

I miss him deeply. Grieve still. I believe that some friendships are blessed to be eternal. I eagerly await the day that I can introduce him to my husband.

MJ I am not going to say Rest In Peace, because resting is so far from what you are doing. I know you are busy teaching and doing whatever assignments you have been given in the Spirit World, so I am going to say God Speed! I know your Spirit has that amazing smile, so keep smiling.

Mayberry Monday: What The Heck Is A Schlimazel?

Once upon a time in a home not so far away there lived three young siblings, an older sibling, and their parents. Their loving parents bought three hamsters for the younger children. Now the two youngest sisters, the third too old (and smart) for a hamster, sat and discussed names for their new pet rodents. Then it hit them, the perfect names. Being a child in the 80s, two females a one male, no, not Krissy, Susanne, and Jack. We chose Laverne and Shirley. What of the dashing gray male with the pink nose? Carmine fit perfectly. Wrong, the male belonged to our little brother, he decided his name would be Rudolph.

I do not recall ever really enjoying being a hamster mom. When they were bad, spanking their little bootie, they would pee. I finally learned to wrap a tissue around them before I would tap tap tap their bottom. Those rascals would break out of the cage and life would stop until we found them. Often several rooms away, sometimes on the piano hiding in a clock in a clock, other times in the hide-a-way bed. We finally started taking several bread ties and tying the gate closed.

One winter night it was going to be really cold, I was a young child, didn’t really think this next heroic measure through. I took my beloved Mickey Mouse sleeping bag, and wrapped it around their cage to make sure they would be nice and toasty. I loved my Mickey sleeping bag, so did those dang hamsters, so much in fact they used their little hands to pull it into their cage and shred it into fluff. Dang rodents, you can leave now.

Then it happened, the miracle of life. Little tiny bald hamster babies. Sort of gross looking, but awww, they are babies wiggling around. I learned about cannibalism, Shirley ate her own babies. Can we say ewww?

Not too much later, Laverne had a litter, surely she would not be as gross as Shirley. She was my hamster after all. Each morning I would run in and check on the babies. Still there! Whew whoo! Until….that fateful morning, when I ran in and hovered over Laverne’s lifeless body, in some sort of hamster zombie apocalypse, Rudolph and Shirley were devouring her and her babies. Talk about a disturbing scene to behold. I ran crying, “Rudolph and Shirley ate Laverne!!”

I suppose we know who the Schlimazel was, and I guarantee it was not the two cannibals standing over the mangled body of dear Laverne, those two monsters definitely pulled the Schlemiel cards in this sad story.

It was not long after the massacre of Laverne and her babies that Rudolph and Shirley found a new home with our step-cousins, and think they ended up letting them out in the wild. How awful, because they lived in a trailer park with many cats and dogs. Who knows maybe they made it to the storm drain, and Sensei Splinter reformed them, and they now actively fight crime as members of the underground ninja team.

Naming our hamsters after Laverne and Shirley, tells you that we enjoyed the show. I love the theme song. I remember singing it with my BFFs as a teenager. Good memories.

This clip had me laughing.

I do not remember this, but I love it!

Trivia Time

1. I gave you hints as to what Schlemiel and Schlimazel mean, now your turn, what do they mean?
2. Who’s middle name is Wilhemina? How did we learn this?
3. What is the name of Shirley’s stuffed black cat?
4. What other tv show’s set was reused as the Laverne and Shirley set?

First correct answers for each question will be acknowledged with announcement of your blog in a special post with the answers on Friday. 🙂

Mayberry Monday: Just The Good Ol’ Boys

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I may or may not have a Dukes of Hazzard serving tray on my wall. I also may or may not have 3 of my 4 dogs named after characters from Hazzard. Their just names might be Roscoe, Enos, and Daisy. Jus’ maybe.

Funny true story, my Granny’s name is Daisy, her maiden name? Dukes.

As a child I remember a General Lee driving around down horn often sounding its familiar “Way Down South In The Land of Cotton” horn. Loved it. Man, I sure wanted Bo and Luke to get out of the General, but they never did.

When theme song would start, we could come running to see what adventures were in store for Bo and Luke, and what kind of chaos Roscoe would get into.

I loved the theme song, knew every word, and sang it, loudly! Still know it, I think.

Very funny clip, of Roscoe and Boss Hog:

Hope you enjoyed your trip to Hazzard County with me! 😉

Blogging With A Schedule, and A Daily Twist?

I have read on several blogs that daily schedules and themes create interest and depth to your blog. It also promotes the blogger AKA me, to deeper and wider range of thinking. WIN WIN!

As I have thought about this idea, I decided to embrace it. Of course since this is my therapy blog, as things come up that I feel I need to blog about, even if they do not fit into the daily theme, I will blog. I will also continue to participate in challenges and “Daily Prompts” because I like how they stretch my mind.

The theme schedule I created for myself is:

Mayberry Monday:

Flashback with me on Mondays to the days when TV was fun, clean, and truly family time. I might includeYoutube videos, theme songs, and who knows what. I hope to jog some of your happy memories as I sit in my parents living room watching TV, occassionally arguing with my siblings about who had to get up and turn the channel.

Tell All Tuesday:

In my 39 years of life I have done some crazy things. Tuesdays will be dedicated to those funny and sometimes not so funny situations that I have gotten myself into and gratefully survived.

Wishful Wednesday:

Hopes and dreams make dark days bearable. When you are in the depths of severe depression you do not dream for a better day, because it does not seem to be part of your reality. Wednesdays, I am going to “force” myself into a daydream and take you along on the adventure.

Take A Look Thursday:

Photography is my new hobby. It brings me moments of joy. Thursdays, I will give you a glimpse into my world as I learn photography.

Find the Good Friday:

Finding joy in inspirational and uplifting stories that I have seen in the world around me. Friday will be a day dedicated to sharing those hidden people interest stories that touch my heart, and hopefully touch yours too.

Silly Saturday:

I want to laugh. I want you to laugh. Saturdays are for laughter. It might be one of those off the wall inventions that I see, or a joke I heard, or picture I saw, but we are going to laugh together.

Songs of the Heart Sunday:

Sunday being the Sabbath is a day I will share a song or other message building my testimony and strenthened my faith in Jesus Christ.

I am excited about the themes. I hope that as I begin this new phase in my blogging adventure I will stretch myself more as a writer and heal myself as a person.

I want to encourage comments and discussion on all of my posts as I engage with my blog family and new friends waiting to be met.

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Weekly Writing Challenge: The Best Way To Win A Client

I was undecided about putting this in the trauma category or not, I decided not to, though I was surely traumatized by the event and vowed never to wear a wrap skirt again.

Let me take you back to a time that I was much thinner and much more confident. I was the assistant customer service manager for a national call center and turnkey facility for large computer companies such as Novell, Microsoft, and other fortune 500 companies.

This particular day we had a potential client touring our facility. I was asked to give the presentation for the customer service department, which included introducing our teams, and showing the monthly statistics and explaining them our procedures.

The statistics were displayed on a board across from the fish tank. The fish tank was where those who were actively taking calls were sitting. Those representative that were not actively taking calls had cubicles outside of the tank. I do not recall who the client was now, but I remember it was a critical client for us to get. I had put hours of work into making the presentation look professional. Management was extremely impressed.

As the potential client group came through I was so nervous. They were all young to middle-aged men. I showed them around, explaining the way calls rolled and escalated, insuring that we did not drop any calls. The presentation was going great. We walked to the presentation board so I could show the statistics of dropped calls, customer satisfaction surveys, etc. When I reached up the button on my wrap skirt decided it did not like being buttoned anymore. Down my thick khaki skirt fell. I caught it at my calves. What a day NOT to have a slip on. I jumped behind one of the partitions, buttoned my skirt, put a paper clip over it QUICKLY (so it would not decide to come out again) and continued the presentation in front of all of these men.

We won the contract. I was often teased that it was because I was willing to show some leg. Not long after that I was promoted to account management for one of our largest clients.

Things that make you go hmmmmm.