Tag Archives: Migraine

The Three Faces of Me


The Three Faces of Eve
The Three Faces of Eve (Photo credit: junibears)

During therapy yesterday Dr. R mentioned the movie The Three Faces of Eve.  Since The Mean One has come out fighting this week,  I feel like I need to understand what is going on with me.

Watching the movie helped me understand somethings that I have been trying to understand, the way they communicate, among themselves, and with me. Having these awful headaches more frequently also, a similarity.

I hate being like this.  I have always been the person to take care of everything.  I handled our bills, dealing with any and all business for us.  Now if the slightest ripple in the plans or transactions happen, that rock my boat, that cause me any negative emotion The Mean One thinks of it as an open invitation to take over.

In therapy we discussed acknowledging her and her anger.  Last night when she came out at something so minor and stupid, I did just that.  I tried to acknowledge her anger.  I begged her to tell me why she was so angry.  That seemed to make her more angry.  Little Shanna then pushed her way forward, and was so scared.  She asked for Mother.  I am proud of her for doing that.  Tracy called Mother for her and Mother was able to calm her enough for me to push back forward.

Something needs to give.  I hate this.

Thanks for reading.  ~Hope




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Where’s The Sense

I cancelled my therapy appointment today because of a migraine. While I was cancelling my appointment here in South Georgia, in DC a horrible scene taking place in the Naval Yard. Since then, my eyes have been glued to the screen and my heart has not been far from those involved. My Mother wanting me to take care of myself and get rid of my migraine told me to turn off the TV, but I cannot. I want to make sense of it. I want to be with those that are hurting. I have always been one that gets sucked into any tragedy that happens as if I were there. No, not to make it about me, I just hurt for others.

I do have a friend that works at the Pentagon and I checked in with her. She was fine.

My husband works on a military base. I immediately called him. We imagine our military bases to be the safest places, but anyone with a driver’s license can get on. You might need to go through the day pass line, but you can get on, and unless you are the one that draws the unlucky card, your car is not even searched. I have been through the gates hundreds of times and never had a search.

I know I am a worry wart. I over think things. I wish I could take all those I love and put them in a bubble and keep them safe, forever.

Grimm Sorta Day

Earlier today I had a meltdown, now I am spending the rest of the day watching Grimm with my husband hoping that my Maxalt will kick this migraine soon.

It is thundering in a distance. The dogs are not completely freaking out, but they are not too happy either. Oh, that was a nice boom, it might be getting closer.

This morning I watched a couple of Bloopers of Three’s Company then the first episode of Three’s A Crowd. Trying to find something for my Silly Saturday post–Which I still have not posted. I enjoyed the Bloopers and and thought as I was watching them that I would post them. John Ritter was such a funny actor. I decided against the bloopers though when at the very end he decided to open his robe and reveal that he had nothing on under it. I was shocked. Was not expecting that one.

I do not remember the show Three’s A Crowd, but the episode I watched this morning was funny. Classic John Ritter.

Oh well, I am rambling. i suppose I will put on another Grimm, I just started watching it. Yeah, a little behind.

Try It Thursday: Natural Cleaning Solution, Does It Work?

I have severe allergies. When I use bleach or almost any chemical for that matter, I am pretty much guaranteed to end up in bed with a migraine. With that being said I am always looking for a better natural alternative to store-bought chemical cleaners.

Right now I have three bottles of citrus peels, vinegar, and water that I use. Sometimes though, that just does not do the trick. I result to the bleach, and suffer the consequences. I need more, something I can do, and on a budget that cleans and disinfects, but does not send me to bed. Pinesol is out, Mr. Clean is not as bad, but still gets me. HELP!

So off to scour the internet for the solution. No pun intended, ok, puns definitely intended.

I have always heard of Borax for laundry, but never for these other uses.

This site also contains 25 other uses for Borax. Pretty impressive.

My kitchen sink and my bathroom are the two places that are where I want to try it out.

I have Sweet Orange Essential Oil, I wonder what it would do if I mixed the two. Hmmm…

I have read on several sites that you can mix them. YAY!

Do you have any recipes for home cleaners that have worked? Please share, I am willing to try almost anything.


Where’s My Calgon and Dream Garden Tub When I need It?

Today’s post going to be short and sweet, well at the very least short. My head feels like a bowling ball with an arrow stuck through over my left eye that pulsates with every heartbeat. I suppose I was was tense last night in my sleep too, I awoke with my hands clinched. My left thumb happened to be in the middle of that fist, now it that joint is all puffy and really sore.

Isn’t this the Sabbath? I know it is. One the girls that I teach at church is getting baptized today, well was baptized today. She was and two of her cousins. I am so sad that I feel like poo! I wanted to share in their special day. I hated missing church and the baptisms. My girl was so excited last week.

I did it to myself. Yesterday we served a family after a memorial service. I am highly sensitive to chemicals. Some of the tables had mildew from being in storage. I went and started cleaning them. I kept telling myself, get someone else to do this. Finally somone else commented on the smell, and my Mother said you are going to have a migraine. She jumped in and took over. I have been in bed since about two hours after that.

Where’s My Rock?

I have not moved around too much today at all.

I want a rock. Either to hide under or to hit myself in the head with. Migraines are awful, they are extra heinous when you are attempting to keep your mind engaged to silence your inner child, and you cannot do anything but lay in the dark, and think.

I am looking at the words on the screen and I am not sure if they make sense or if some are missing, that is one of the wonderful gifts that a migraine attack gives me. Can only hope that my fingers know what my mind is thinking, please forgive me if this post is a mess.

I know when I was able to work, I did bookkeeping. When I have a migraine, numbers are awful. They become jumbled, I see through a dyslexics eyes. Driving? I cannot do that either, I do not know my right from my left instinctively in the middle of one of these beasts. That is not taking into account the noise and light sensitivity, and in the really bad ones, nausea.

I hate Excedrin Migraine commercials. I cringe when one comes on. Want to scream false advertising everytime it. I can take Excedrine Migraine for a regular headache and it works great, but a migraine wickedly laughs it. That commercial does an injustice to true migraine suffers I feel, but that is my two cents. In 2009 I had a migraine that lasted ten and a half weeks, so I am pretty much an expert now.

Right now my migraine is not as bad as it was most of the day, but it is still there, and I am still wiped out from it. If it was full force, I would not be able to blog.

I remember watching on Discovery Health a couple of years ago a “new study” of bee stings, to help migraines. They would let the bee sting the temple and the pull the bee off and leave the stinger in pulsating for a while. Sounds painful.

I remembered that today as I was laying here and wondered if other stinging creatures would work. If so I know right where to find some wasps or yellow jackets. I caught these on camera yesterday.

Maybe not, I think I will stick will Maxalt for now.

Migraines and PTSD, Connection?


As a migraine suffer for as long as I can remember, once even leaving me bedridden for months. I have kept all the food diaries and had more head scans than I can number. Never finding the answer to why I have migraines. Some environmental triggers, but those are truly minute compared to the four or more migraines I have a week.

Night before last, while talking to Jethro, I asked if he thought my migraines could possibly be the pain from my mind fighting so hard to hide these memories. We both thought it was an interesting idea but did not know.

I read an article today from Practical Neurology from December 2011. Here is what it says:

Migraine researcher Dr. Gretchen E. Tietjen, Director of University of Toledo Medical Center‘s Headache Treatment and Research Program in Ohio, USA, spoke about the connection between abuse and migraine this past summer at the American Headache Society Annual Meeting. She was talking about the unusual number of migraine patients who were abused at a young age.

So could it be that psychological problems from past abuse are somehow contributing to migraine? Dr. Tietjen thinks it may be something more biological…This seems to be more than a psychological reaction to maltreatment. We are examining the idea that early abuse—no matter what kind—creates permanent changes in the neurobiological system of abused persons that may make them more prone to migraine pain. Many patients seem relieved when we ask them about abuse, but we need much more research to tell us if such information can really influence how we treat them.

Recent medical breakthroughs have brought home the point that environment and life choices can actually have permanent implications – and even cause changes that can be passed down to future generations.

Though the genetic basis for migraine is increasingly well researched, that doesn’t mean that factors such as abuse can’t pave the way for future migraine attacks.

A couple of things are important to note here:

No one is saying that all migraineurs were abused as children. We hope that most weren’t. The point is that, for some reason, it looks like there may be a higher prevalence of abuse among migraineurs. More research needs to be done to confirm this.

At this point, discovering a connection between abuse and migraine doesn’t really impact migraine treatment. Of course there may be past issues that need to be dealt with, and that can improve overall quality of life. But there’s no special treatment for a migraineur who was mistreated as a child. It will be interesting to see where this research goes. It may provide further insight into why so many suffer from migraine disease.

In response to the article Dr. Michael Zitney stated, “When exposed to early abuse, the child’s adrenergic system (“fight-or-flight” response) is engaged more then usual, leaving the serotonin, dopamine, endorphin system underdeveloped.”

I am not a doctor, I will never have an MD after my name, but maybe this answers why I have migraines and why nothing seems to help them, even my hysterectomy. I really do hope they continue with this research.

I also hope as I continue my work of healing and understanding, maybe (fingers and toes crossed), my migraines will improve.