As I have mentioned before, I have this battle within myself. Little Hope is trying to keep me to herself, and I, in fear of upsetting her, spend most of my time alone. This weekend my siblings and extended family came in. Though anxious initially at the thought of being around everyone and a few times during the party, I was able to enjoy some time with family. I cannot express how grateful I am for that.
I am trying to find the courage within to do those things that will help me and motivate me to be stronger.
Blogging again is one of those baby steps. I enjoy writing. Words delight me. They are my friends. They can be my weapon, my sauve, my mask, the real me. Words can be what I need them to be. I love words.
The other is my photography. I took up the hobby of photography not too long ago as part of my healing journey. I receive joy in the moments in time that can be captured in a photo. The last several weeks out of fear of upsetting Little Hope, I placed my camera aside. I decided that I would pick my camera back up and find treasures that are placed for me to discover that will give me moments joy.
It may sound simple. Writing and photography, two creative fun things. I do not want to negate the beauty and peace that I will get in the long run, but right now I still have the anxiety because of that battle. I pray that the tenacity that I have always had will kick in and I will stick to these two goals.
Saturday I took this picture of Tender Mercy. She is a sweet angel doe that comes on days that we are having a difficult time. Saturday was the day of the party, I was very anxious. My nephew came in and said, “There is a deer out here.” I knew exactly why she had been sent.
This guy is growing, emphasis on growing, into an awesome guard frog. He is HUGE, looks like a mutant when next to his froggy pals. That is a watering bucket outside my door that he was proudly perched on when we came home last night.
I gave you a little preview of our date night ducks last week. Today you get the rest of the photo shoot. Shoot is not a good word to use around ducks I suppose, unless you are the hunter, but these ducks are so pretty. Enjoy.
This is my first attempt at (clearing my throat) photography. I saw this little tiny fly. He seemed oblivious to me or to the rest of the world around him for that matter. That could have been good or bad, depending on the perspective I guess. He is in dangerous territory, we have lots of frogs and lizards that enjoy that area.
Either way the lesson I took from my little winged friend, was there is a whole world out there waiting to be discovered. A whole world waiting for me to look at it through my, well, my Mother’s camera lens. It is nice to have something to focus on. Something that requires me to stay in the now.
Heavenly Father has blessed us with such a beautiful earth to explore and nourish. Speaking of which, I really need to go plant my squash, zucchini, and cucumbers today. I will probably wait until it is cooler, it is seriously hot and humid outside right now.
I might talk to my husband about putting the pool up this weekend. We’ll see. We have both been wanting a way to relax, but he is allergic to mosquitoes. Poor man, I transplanted him from Oregon to Georgia, he loves the South, never wants to move back to Oregon, but the little flying vampires adore him. He has to practically dope up on Benadryl anytime he spends any substantial amount of time outside during the summer months. Oh well, like I said, we will see what he wants to do. This year those stinkin’ no see ums are awful too. Sounds like I am talking myself out of the pool?! Huh?
As you can tell I am rambling, and that means, so far, dare I say, today has been a good day. A few moments of anxiety, but nothing crushing. I am sincerely grateful for that. Such wonderful, wonderful tender mercies!