Silly Saturday: Double Your Pleasure

Not you are not seeing double, I was in the mood for funny twin baby videos.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

Silly Saturday: It’s Laughter Time! YAY!!!

I am finding that Silly Saturday is one of my favorite days to write. I love laughter. I usually create laughter at my infirmities and short comings, I suppose it is a defense mechanism.

One example that comes to mind, is how I get car sick really really easily. The sure fire way you know I am about to completely lose the battle against it is that I start laughing hysterically, and I cannot stop. My step-daughters used to think that was the most hilarious thing. I remember riding on Germantown Road between Hillsboro and Portland, Oregon. That is one winding and twinding road over the mountain. My husband liked taking it fast. My stomach was lost of the first curve. I started laughing. My laughter intensified when from the backseat I hear hear two girls yelling and laughing, “Oh NO! She is laughing!!! She is going to spew!”. There is nowhere to pull off on the road and we did not have a bag in the car. I blasted the AC in my face and opened the window the get the air rushing more, that sometimes helps. Between the laughter at myself, the girls, the air, and we finally found flat ground “spew” free. Found a parking lot for me to walk around in for a few minutes, crisis was averted. Whew!

Yes, laughing at myself, is something I do. I once to laughed much more than I do these days, so taking Saturdays to finding jokes or funny things reminds me to laugh.

Today I am going to share a few jokes that I found that are quite comical.
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Wrong Email

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile…..somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

____________________

Red Shirt

There was a captain sailing on the sea during a battle. His servant came up to him and the captain said, “bring me my red shirt”.

So, the servant did as the captain said.

After that the servant came up to the captain and said, Why did you say bring me my red shirt”?

The captain said, “Well if i get shot they won’t see the blood.

The next day the servant came up to the captain and said, “There are 50 ships on the horizon.”

The captain said, “Bring me my brown pants.”
_____________________

Doggone Brilliant

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, “I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.”

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.

“Whew,” says the leopard. “That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.”

Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet. And, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says:

“Where’s that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard.”
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Letter From Grandma

I got a letter from Grandma the other day.

She writes: The other day, I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting; so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, I’m glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is… and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed!

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!

Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, “For the love of GOD!! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!” What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a “sunny beach”….

I saw another waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage grandson, in the back seat, what that meant. In a strange voice He said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I’ve never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing… why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared; so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Grandma

Mayberry Monday: Laughter is the Best Medicine

I was not always allowed to stay awake as a child to watch the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, so most of the ones I have seen are on DVDs, and boy are they funny. I adore the clips with animals, they absolutely crack me up. I just could not find many on YouTube to share.

I love this first clip with Tim Conway. Tim is brilliantly hilarious. One of my favorite comedians on the Carol Burnett Show, which I will feature another Monday I am sure.

Tim portrays a jockey. Johnny can hardly contain himself.

We need a commercial break so you can wipe the tears of laughter from your eyes before viewing the next video clip.

How did you learn to spell BOLOGNA? Do you still sing the song to make sure you are spelling it correctly? I know I just did.

I am amazed as Johnny by this adorable laughing parrot. Reminds me of Charlie, Bec’s parrot when we were young. I only heard him squawk and say hello, always at night. I would yell “Shut up Charlie.” My guess is that he heard that pretty often because it was not too long before one night he started making the classic parrot squawk,”ArrrwKKK” quickly followed by “Shup Up Charlie Arrkkk!”

Related articles

• Johnny Carson’s Memorable Moments (waitwhatsadial.wordpress.com)
• The Importance of Laughter. (elephantjournal.com)
• In the Company of the King: Johnny Carson Interviews on TCM (rogerebert.com)

Silly Saturday: Unko-San -The Lucky Poo Fairy (I did not make this up!)

We have been laughing all morning. When I was looking for something funny to write I came upon several websites that mentioned these:

What in the world you ask?

The Japanese Unko-san Poo Fairy is the an anime cartoon that went viral in 2009 with high school girls in western Japan. “Unko-san is a brown poo fairy who has the special power of being able to bestow good luck upon others less fortunate.”

Where to even begin with this? The family tree maybe?

Cracks me up that this exists, but they made plush pillow like poo fairies that these teenage girls snuggle with is even funnier. I have a soon to be 18-year-old daughter step daughter, and a sixteen year old niece, I cannot image them wanting a poo toy. My nephews maybe, okay no maybe about it, but you get my point. The major viewing audience is teenage girls!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE…Look at it there is a collection. The Big Poo and three little poos.. Can you imagine the lunch room talk, about getting your Poo collection?! “I am so bummed. I could only buy Big Poo this week. I hope to be able to buy a little turd next week.”

We have some strange things here, but wow. This is just wow! I do not think the words exist.

Something even funnier, and sad at the same time, another nationality threw a fit about the show. No, not because it was poo, but because they felt the skinniest poo was perceived to be their nationality. This short tempered poo is always losing it for no reason on the cartoon. Hmmm…you are not upset that you think you are represented as a poo, but as a short-tempered steamer? I just found that ironically comical!

For your Saturday morning cartoon enjoyment I have attached a YouTube of Unko-San –our poo with super powers! It is only two or three minutes long, and has English subtitles. Hope you enjoy!

Blogging With A Schedule, and A Daily Twist?

I have read on several blogs that daily schedules and themes create interest and depth to your blog. It also promotes the blogger AKA me, to deeper and wider range of thinking. WIN WIN!

As I have thought about this idea, I decided to embrace it. Of course since this is my therapy blog, as things come up that I feel I need to blog about, even if they do not fit into the daily theme, I will blog. I will also continue to participate in challenges and “Daily Prompts” because I like how they stretch my mind.

The theme schedule I created for myself is:

Mayberry Monday:

Flashback with me on Mondays to the days when TV was fun, clean, and truly family time. I might includeYoutube videos, theme songs, and who knows what. I hope to jog some of your happy memories as I sit in my parents living room watching TV, occassionally arguing with my siblings about who had to get up and turn the channel.

Tell All Tuesday:

In my 39 years of life I have done some crazy things. Tuesdays will be dedicated to those funny and sometimes not so funny situations that I have gotten myself into and gratefully survived.

Wishful Wednesday:

Hopes and dreams make dark days bearable. When you are in the depths of severe depression you do not dream for a better day, because it does not seem to be part of your reality. Wednesdays, I am going to “force” myself into a daydream and take you along on the adventure.

Take A Look Thursday:

Photography is my new hobby. It brings me moments of joy. Thursdays, I will give you a glimpse into my world as I learn photography.

Find the Good Friday:

Finding joy in inspirational and uplifting stories that I have seen in the world around me. Friday will be a day dedicated to sharing those hidden people interest stories that touch my heart, and hopefully touch yours too.

Silly Saturday:

I want to laugh. I want you to laugh. Saturdays are for laughter. It might be one of those off the wall inventions that I see, or a joke I heard, or picture I saw, but we are going to laugh together.

Songs of the Heart Sunday:

Sunday being the Sabbath is a day I will share a song or other message building my testimony and strenthened my faith in Jesus Christ.

I am excited about the themes. I hope that as I begin this new phase in my blogging adventure I will stretch myself more as a writer and heal myself as a person.

I want to encourage comments and discussion on all of my posts as I engage with my blog family and new friends waiting to be met.

Weekly Writing Challenge: The Best Way To Win A Client

I was undecided about putting this in the trauma category or not, I decided not to, though I was surely traumatized by the event and vowed never to wear a wrap skirt again.

Let me take you back to a time that I was much thinner and much more confident. I was the assistant customer service manager for a national call center and turnkey facility for large computer companies such as Novell, Microsoft, and other fortune 500 companies.

This particular day we had a potential client touring our facility. I was asked to give the presentation for the customer service department, which included introducing our teams, and showing the monthly statistics and explaining them our procedures.

The statistics were displayed on a board across from the fish tank. The fish tank was where those who were actively taking calls were sitting. Those representative that were not actively taking calls had cubicles outside of the tank. I do not recall who the client was now, but I remember it was a critical client for us to get. I had put hours of work into making the presentation look professional. Management was extremely impressed.

As the potential client group came through I was so nervous. They were all young to middle-aged men. I showed them around, explaining the way calls rolled and escalated, insuring that we did not drop any calls. The presentation was going great. We walked to the presentation board so I could show the statistics of dropped calls, customer satisfaction surveys, etc. When I reached up the button on my wrap skirt decided it did not like being buttoned anymore. Down my thick khaki skirt fell. I caught it at my calves. What a day NOT to have a slip on. I jumped behind one of the partitions, buttoned my skirt, put a paper clip over it QUICKLY (so it would not decide to come out again) and continued the presentation in front of all of these men.

We won the contract. I was often teased that it was because I was willing to show some leg. Not long after that I was promoted to account management for one of our largest clients.

Things that make you go hmmmmm.

Related articles

• Weekly Writing Challenge: The Best Medicine (dailypost.wordpress.com)

 

Daily Prompt: The Art Of Being A Woman

Daily Prompt: Tell us about the last time you had a real, deep, crying-from-laughing belly laugh.

From what I hear you lose all dignity when you go through childbirth. I suppose you do, having people’s noses in your hoo-hoo smiling ooohhhhing and ahhhinng. While you push and make all kind of noises, pushing a canteloupe out of a lemon size opening. I never thad that joy, but I did have a hysterectomy, and I can tell you that the dignity flies out the same window, without a bundle of cuteness being placed in your arms afterwards. Do not worry, this is not going to be one of my sad infertility cancer posts, it is going to be one filled with the embarassing moments that came after the surgery.

For those who do not like bodily function stories this might not be the post for you. For those who are thinking about having a hysterectomy, this might be helpful. Funny things I wish I had known. Husbands and companions, your wife, the one who goes into surgery, will not be the one who comes out. I do not mean the hormones that make Linda Blair from the Excorist look like Mother Teresa either. I mean her body, will do things she will want to run and hide from.

My hysterectomy for uterine cancer was July 2011. When I woke up from surgery, on of the first things they told me was that I would need to try to tinkle. Tinkle? I could barely walk, and they wanted me to walk to the restroom to tinkle? Then the words, if you cannot do it on your own we will have to cath you. Some women’s bladder does not want to wake up. I shuffled my way to the potty. I sat and sat. I ran warm water over my hand. I kept the water running. Not even a drop. I asked them to bring me a pitcher of water. I drank it all. I just knew it would do the trick. I painfully shuffled to the restroom. Tried all the same tricks. Nothing.

And to add insult to injury, the gas they had used to blow me up like a balloon, was wanting to work its way out. I looked like a bloated pregnant woman trying to get her water to break. It caught me funny. It hurt to laugh, so I held a pillow to my stomach. Then the comedy troop came in. Five wonderful black cnas, they had been given charge to cath me. I do not know why it took five. I know one did keep missing. OUCH! I informed the one who leaned in really close to make sure she was threading it correctly that I had gas. “Oh girl, please don’t let it go now!” That made me laugh even harder, I do not know if I did or didn’t.

In preparing for my surgery, I had ready you want you bowels to be soft. So when they asked me what I wanted for breakfast the next morning I though healthy. Oatmeal. As soon as I finished that oatmeal, my Mother and I literally watched my stomach get bigger and bigger. Oh it was aweful. Word to the wise, do not eat oatmeal the day after your surgery. I would use my pillow to gently push and I laid on my left side trying to get rid the pressure.

Once things started healing I thought my body would get back to normal. I have always had a Bladder of steal and colon to match, now, if the urge hits, I better be close to a restroom. If not, this 39 year old body, does not act like a 39 year old body.

To bring me to the last time that I really laughed about it. It is eaither laugh or cry. This is one thing, I decided to just laugh about. The other day I had tinkled, taken a shower, and then climbed into bed. Next thing I know I am having a sneezing fit, in the fit I am tinkling all over myself! So I am sneezing, tinkling, laughing, and running to the bathroom. My husband just laughed with me. He has gotten used to it.

Laughing Felt So Great!

Therapy went well today. My husband went with me.  Our special assignment spending the day together enjoying one another’s company, and staying in the now.

Our first stop was Arby’s and then following the doctor’s orders we drove out to the beach. My husband asked if I was sure I wanted to do that as he looked up at the sky. Dark, dark clouds gathered around.

I reminded him that I was not made of sugar.  He said he was made of salt, and might melt. As we drove over the causeway, you could see the rain hammering the island next to the one we were getting on. I used his camera to take a picture.

 

When we got to the Village, the wind was blowing and he asked again. “Honey, are you sure?” Pointing at the palm trees whipping in the wind in front of the car.  I was.  He mentioned about us ending up in Kansas.  I mentioned about the possibility of seeing a water spout or something, or ending maybe ending up in eternity. I kind of felt like Bella in Twilight needing a rush to feel alive. The sting of the wind and the possibility of getting caught in a storm made me made me feel that way today.  I had my Edward/Jacob combo with me, so I was fine.

Just when we sat down and pulled out Arby’s meal the rain came. So did my laughter. That wave of rain did not last long. We did not melt.  I continued to laugh.  Everything was sort of funny from then on.

One point I nearly jumped in excitement.  I have lived here most of my life, and for as long as I can remember I have never seen a dolphin off the pier at St. Simons. I saw the fin, did a double take, then told my husband to look, and he saw it too. It was a huge dolphin.  I think Flipper himself came to visit.  It was a tender mercy to me. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it.

As I started taking pictures of the waves the bottoms fell out of the clouds above us. It was not just a few drops. We are talking torrential. IT WAS GREAT! I laughed like a child, I must admit it was at my husband’s expense.  Poor guy, no matter where he stood, he got drenched!!  I think he is still wet and it is several hours later.

Part of me wanted to get out and dance around singing the silly song…

“If all the raindrops
Were lemon drops and gumdrops
So what a rain that would be

Standing outside with my mouth open wide
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

If all the raindrops
Were lemon drops and gumdrops
Oh, what a rain that would be.”

I wonder how many people would have joined in.

Then again, since I had just came from therapy, I figured.  I better not.  My husband might call my therapist and try to have me committed.  I did enjoy the rain ALOT while we could.

I wanted to enjoy the storm longer, but others enjoyed it by smoking, and I cannot be around cigarette smoke. Boooo. Migraine trigger. So we headed to the car. Laughing as we went. We are at the beach, people are in swimsuits running as fast as they can to their cars, and here I am fully clothed enjoying strolling along! People are funny.

Speaking of funny.  This is a classic.  We pulled over to take a picture of this sign.  It cracks me up every time I see it.

So after a perfect day, rain included, what have I been singing all evening?

 

 

Ooops! I Almost Forgot!

Just as I reached to take my nightly meds it hit me in my groggy sleepy stupper, that I have yet to type my funny thought for today. I have already taken a couple of things for a migraine, with that disclaimer, this is a true story and a real joke. No ducks were hurt in the making of this joke.

So yes, because I am tired, drugged on migraine meds, I decided to tell a joke. Not just any joke, my brother’s favorite joke. This has been his favorite joke for as long as I can remember. He is in his mid-thirties now, a lawyer, and still rolls laughing at this joke that we heard as children.

Okay here goes…

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub, the first duck looks at the second duck and asks him to pass him the soap.

The second duck looks at the first duck and says….

“No…What do you think I am? A typewriter?”

Ok, ok…I understand, it makes no sense. I think that is why it is so funny. Well, that and trying to figure out what makes is so hilarious to my brother all these years.

Nightblind Hyundai Bulldozer Operator and the Princess

“Humor is infectious. It lightens burdens, inspires hope, connects us to others, increases our insight, keeps us grounded, focused, alert, and happy. Laughter is a universal language that stimulates both sides of the brain.” ~Happy Thoughts Travel Fast

I really like that quote. Her blog is fun and light hearted. The things I read did not have anthing off color, just good clean fun. If I missed anything naughty and I am recommending it, I apologize.

I have really been down in the dumps since I received my denial from disability. It’s not so much the actual denial as the wording. This evening I thought about it alot and I hate only sharing negativity, even if that is what I am feeling. I want to be true to what my blog is about and that is the healing journey, but only writing the negativity does not help me, or those of you that are struggling too.

Looking back on my site stats and the posts that seem to get the most hits are those that have humor in them. Today I decided that I would try to start writing a humorous memory each day. I know that it will be theraputic for me, and hopefully bring a smile to your faces too.

This memory does not start of humorous, but it is one of those moments that humor heals the soul.

Several years ago our family was going through a very difficult time. My cousin’s fiance had been killed in an automobile accident while on the way to visit her for lunch. She was beside herself in grief, as anyone would be. He was not only her fiance, but her brother’s best friend. We all loved him dearly, and he was a part of the family.

After his death she came to Utah, where I was living at the time, and where Luke would be laid to rest. She walked around like a zombie, a beautiful blonde hair blue eyed lifeless zombie. She was lost without her Luke. Her smile and laughter that would light up the darkest room was gone. it was as if she had been in the car with him, I think there were times she wished that she had been.

One evening we had gone somewhere, and I drove. Why nightblind queen drove, I am not sure, but I am glad I did. When we arrived back to her brother’s apartment complex I was basically trying to remember the turns by heart, I had just said I know there is a building up here somewhere, when everyone screamed, “Banana watchout for the building!” I slammed on brakes just in time. I was about to plow straight into it. I was inches away from pulling into someone’s livingroom.

Then we heard it. Laughter, beautiful laughter. She could not stop. I do not remember how long she laughed that night.

It has been 15-16 years since that time. That beautiful cousin met another prince, married, and they lived happily ever after. Almost everytime we talk she reminds me of the time I nearly bulldozed the apartment complex with my Hyundai Elantra, but in doing so I reminded her how to laugh for the first time since Luke’s death.

Sometimes being nightblind is a blessing I suppose.